Do you ever give your SO secret ultimatums?

Like you give them some secret tests they are not aware of and if they don't meet your satisfaction you dump them?

For instance you ask questions about religion, politics, other types and they don't answer what you want in an SO and so you dump them for it?
Updates:
They are secret because the person is unaware they are being tested, and in your mind if they don't pass your test you end the relationship.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • My girlfriend had serious reservations about family get-togethers. Holidays basically. We were together for three years, and yet every year, every holiday there was a lame excuse, or she would say "we'll see" but I knew what she really meant. After three years of this, I decided that she would have one more chance. She pulled the same crap over Christmas, so immediately after Christmas, I hit her with a "we need to talk", and she came right over.

    I told her my decision, and she begged me for another chance, and she was lucky I felt generous. Seriously I was very close to ending it with her. But yeah, she made a promise, and since then, she's made an effort. She's actually done it. I've been at her family gatherings, and she's been to mine.

    Now, this may seem like it was a big deal, but the impression I was getting out of this was that after three years, she still sees me as temporary. Whether that was the case or not, that was the message it sent. It gives the impression she had one foot out the door. So, I made her make a statement that I had some standing in this relationship. That I was indeed permanent. I was NOT about to waste my time on somebody who still wasn't sure. She had to make a choice or I would.

    I'm glad I gave one last chance.

    Yeah, I know, I didn't stick with my ultimatum, but man, I really did get close to ending it there. But yes, it was a case of a secret ultimatum, I guess it just turned into a not so secret one later.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Secret ultimatums? No.

    I would ask what they're looking for long term and if it doesn't match up what I want - Vice versa., There's little chance it'll work out.

    I wouldn't want to waste my and his time.

    Then again, I try to think the best with the one I'm with. Even when we don't agree on the same things such as religion. politics, children.. etc..

    It's more about compromising.

    No one is ever happy with ultimatums.

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  • to a suitor/crush yes cause from there I'll determine if we are compatible or not. I think I'm a very accepting person but there are certain things very important to me that if they fail on it, I consider it a deal breaker.

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  • I've actually done that. It's just about seeing if we are compatible, can I deal with this person for much longer..has he shown me through his actions if he's genuine or not

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  • no that sounds manipulative.

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  • no, I don't believe in them

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  • no never

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What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah but more so about how sexually compatible we are or if she tends to play games.

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    • but isn't giving ultimatums game playing in itself?

    • Not really, both guys and girls do it. Because to have a relationship we need to be compatible. Playing games is completely different and not exactly discrete. Ultimatum would be do this and that or we're through.

  • i have and I ended the relationship

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