Just got out of a relationship..Please Help me PLEASE!

I just got out of a relationship last month, him and I were dating for a year. I just got my heartbroken I found out he was still messing around with his ex who he calls his (first love) and messing around with other females. I was crushed, I gave him my everything. Recently I started "talking" to this guy I've been knowing. I am over my ex but I still feel hurt. This new guy and I talk everyday, spend some time with each other when he isn't busy, and things like that. When he stops texting me for like 15 minutes I get so upset, when he's around me and we aren't hugged up I can't mad, or when I don't get my good morning texts I freak out. I've never been this way towards someone before and I do really like him. Sometimes I feel like he isn't in to me or he doesn't want to be with me. I may be rushing things but I really want him to just ask me out and I'm confused why he just won't ask me already. Why am I this way? What should I do? Any suggestions, opinions or ideas?

0|0
82

Most Helpful Girl

  • The reason you're so upset over this new guy, is because of your hurt and distrust from the ex. And I've done this before, putting past feelings of another guy onto a new guy. I did understand that my reason for my behavior is so that I won't get hurt again, and so I looked for the red flags that I found in past guys.

    I agree with ParisFarmer, that you should take it slow with this new guy. I think you need to find out more about this guy, and whether or not he still has ex girlfriends in his life. Just do your research on him first, before you start having sex with him. It's best to find out his history, because he might repeat the same relationship patterns he has in the past. I have avoided some bad guys by just asking " Why did your previous relationships not work out?" If he blames all the ex-girlfriends, then run... If he is still friends with his ex-girlfriends, then run... Don't trust that he's still friends with them because he cares, because having access to the exes only creates opportunity for him to cheat.

    I think you should read relationship books, like the ones from Dr. Phil or other self-help books. I've learned so much from reading about these guys and their behaviors. Trust your gut, and have no regrets for protecting yourself against baiters...

    1|1
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I would probably step back and relax for a bit it sounds like your rushing in and falling too fast, just slow it down a bit. Or are you just hurt from being cheated on and looking for someone to lean on and talk to? Either way I would step back and focus on you! I hope that helps!

    3|0
    0|0
  • New guy just wants to get to your pants and is not serious.

    0|0
    1|0

What Girls Said 7

  • Calm down. The more you try to force him to stay, the faster he'll run. If you have a feeling that he isn't into you, he probably isn't. Trust your gut and stop being so clingy. You definitely don't want him to feel suffocated cause then, instead of not texting you back for 15 minutes, he won't text back for days.

    0|0
    0|0
  • you like him but maybe he does not feel the same way? idk

    1|0
    1|0
  • Sorry there's not enough space in the comment box. That was meant to say deceived not decided. And usually when you 'forgive' take him back for those reasons it would only really last up to another 6 months before he breaks it of with you for being to untrusting or your break up with him because you just can't forgive him. The point I'm making is he referred to her as his 'first love' and you know we never truly get over our first love so he was basically telling you he still loves her (this is what your brain heard) and to hear that your boyfriend loves someone else is somewhat worse that finding out he had sex with her! He's feelings were involved with this girl when he cheated which makes the blow so much harder on you. Try your best to get your anger out about the situation before worrying about this new guy. He's not important and nor is your ex! You have to worry about YOU! are you still in contact with your ex?

    0|0
    0|0
    • Nope, we never contact each other.

  • he just wants sex

    0|0
    0|0
  • i would try to calm down

    0|0
    0|0
  • well cool down and sort your feelings out beofre doing anything.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Your recent break up has made you feel neglected and unsure of yourself it's the rejection you are afraid of not losing him. I'd say try and calm down and don't put everything into this guy straight away! As for your ex who fooled around with other females try and forget about that your clearly not over it because you mention him at the start of this post. Maybe dealing with that issue first may help? Did he cheat on you with his 'first love' or did he leave you for her? Talking about this will get to the root of your insecurity and help you in future relationships!

    1|1
    0|0
    • He cheated on me with her, I broke up with him. How do I deal with those issues first?

    • You need to understand that there is nothing wrong with YOU! It's not your fault that it happened. Its not her fault either! It's HIM! He is the problem and he is the one with the insecurities. Did you break up right away or try and forgive him for a while? Sometimes when a guy cheats on you, you take them back but not because you forgive them but because your feeling so rejected and decided the only way to feel better is to be with that person to feel wanted and needed by that person.

Recommended myTakes

Loading...