Avoid ex girlfriend or face my fear

So, my ex girlfriend dumped about 7 months ago after almost a year of dating. I was pretty hurt by the whole thing and tried to get her back at the time, but she said that she simply never loved me and felt were weren't suitable for the long term.

We are in the same community and share friends. She and I get invited to the same functions sometimes. While I would love to go to spend time with my friends and possibly meet someone, my ex's presence bothers me. I usually get upset when I see her. I have not seen her yet with another dude, but I know that will happen and it will feel like a kick in the balls.

Should I purposely avoid going to functions where I know my ex will be even though my friends want me there and there will be other women there to meet? Or should I simply "man up" and confront my fears, even if it means accepting some heartache and pain? No pain, no gain?
Updates:
We were somewhat friendly with each other after the breakup, but then she turned cold and nasty when she found out I started dating again (nothing serious and I am not currently seeing anyone). She also saw me sitting with an attractive female friend at a function.


I have feeling that my ex will try to through any guy she is with in my face. I have been nothing but gracious towards her since the breakup. Maybe if I keep being gracious, I can kill her with kindness and she will be civil.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • face your fear and tell ehr to eff off

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    • Thanks, but while I am willing to go to a place where she will be, I certainly do not want to be rude. I have felt better about myself that I was willing to be gracious even though she hurt me (although I admit that I was not the perfect boyfriend and took her for granted at times). And won't it might make her feel dumb if I am kind rather than bitter towards her?

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What Girls Said 3

  • go and have fun. show her that you are happy and she did not bring you down.

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    • Thanks. After all, she is doing the same. I have always tried to put on a happy face whenever I do run into her, but she seemed a little pouty in return.

      I think it would help if I go with a good number of friends, including female ones.

  • man up definitely.

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  • dont worry about her anymore, just do your thing and don't let her keep you form doing what you want to

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    • Thanks. I know you are right. I feel kind of silly embarrassed at my reaction to this whole thing. II've had breakups before, but she happens to be in my circle and we keep running into each other.

What Guys Said 2

  • I've got a saying, don't stress over someone who isn't stressing over you. From the sounds of it, this girl doesn't sound as heartbroken about the breakup as you are about it, so why give her the satisfaction of showing you sweating over the whole thing.

    Enjoy your life, if she dumped you, she made her choice, and now you can make yours and stand on your own two feet again.

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    • Thanks, dude. I have been trying to put on a brave and happy face whenever I see her. When I saw her last on the street (quite random), I waved and flashed a smile. She returned the wave and barely cracked a smile. She would have kept walking and not say hi if I hadn't noticed her looking at me.

  • Man up by taking a new girl who is better than your ex in every way.

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    • Thx...the funny thing is that she already has seen me with an attractive girl, who is actually just a friend. I am not the type to rub a girl in an ex's face, but it kind of happened by accident.

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