I messed up and now he won't be open with me. How can I fix things?

Me and my boyfriend were so close. We live together and have done for over a year. Been together almost 3.

We would talk about everything and he loved how confident and carefree I was.

Then I went through a stage that I thought it was all too good to be true. I would question him and moan about things he said or did. Id get upset about a lot.

So he started lying about small things that he thought would upset me. Or to avoid being told off if I kicked off.

We spoke about this and when he told me I made it hard for him to be honest because of my reactions to everything. He didn't want to hurt me or argue.

The one thing I hate more than anything is lies but I know why he's done it. I can see how much of a bitch I was. I thought it was all too good to be true. Good things like him never happened to me so I was looking for holes in everything feeling like I deserved to be hurt

But I hate what iv caused. How do I make up for it?

Now that iv put this bad image in his head, how do I show him that I'm still that carefree girl under all my insecurity.

I have been working on all of my insecurities. I love myself now and I know I'm a good person who deserves happiness. Now I just need him to see that. When I see his doubt it scares me. Then I have to tell myself itll get better with time.

But guys (and girls) have you git any tips on how to deal with this.

What qualities do guys see as a sign or trust?

He once saw me as girl different to every other. Soneone he could trust and be himself with. He knew I wouldn't judge him.

How do I get this back? And is it possible?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Been there done that ! This exactly happened to me I as well caused the same exact thing.but what hqppened is that he stopped communicqting and conversating with me he said it was because I would be such a bitch that he would think about my reaction if he was to tell me such thing.I had many convos w him to try and fix it so I became an open book on purpose at the same acted like I was a buddy and about a year later I can tell you were great now such a different bond :) he recently mentioned that this girl at work seems to have a fetish w him and I replied that's funny what do you mean he said she offered me $50 if I gave her a kiss in front of our coworkers he asked me isn't that crazy?then said id love for you to come to my job one of these days grab me and give me a kiss and then ill give you $50 and say so you can by an ice cream or something.he laughed and said babe maybe with that shell never mention a kiss again! So we laughed my point is had we had this convo a year ago I would have answered like the insecure bitchy bitch that I used to be and asked have you guys done anything? Has she touched you? Have you guys done anything for her to have an effin fetish w you?so now I'm cool I am his lady but I'm so much freely open and secure and positive and sweeter than before.

    • Its so good to hear its possible! So what did you do? How do I fix things? Judt listen to what he has said and chill out? What do you mean you became an open book and a buddy? Thabk you so much for giving me hope! I just needed to know it was possible! Was your boyfruend acting like mine? Lying and avoiding things?

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  • Iwould just try to act like gow you have changed now and tell him that it won't be asy but that you should give it another shot

  • you can if you show him that you have changed like you have been, he will come around