Please help! Do I have any right to be upset with my fiance, or should I just be quiet? Please read details

We both still live at home with our parents...he is 25 and is in medical school. About 6 months ago he asked me to marry him...I said yes. We've been talking about our future together, etc. We talked a month ago about us both being on a budget and saving up money so we can live together next year...I"ve saved up $1,000 and have been limiting my spending a lot. I don't get very much time to spend with him because he is always studying.

He had a break from school/studying for a couple weeks. We had been talking about going to New York during his break. I came to his place one day and was going to talk to him about it, and then he told me that he signed up to take a motorcycle class which took up 4 days...but he told me he signed up because he is broke and wouldn't be able to afford it. So I wasn't upset because I understand he has a lot of money out in loans. So that was that...I didn't say anything...even though I wasn't keen on him riding and putting himself at risk...didn't want to seem like a nag.

Just found out today that he purchased a motorcycle. A used Harley...which runs a couple thousand dollars. I didn't want to seem mad or anything...but I asked him if he was sharing it with his brother...he told me no...it's his...he paid for it...to which I said "I thought you were broke...that's what you told me a couple weeks ago" To which he said "my dad payed for it...I'm going to pay him back"

He said he caught the riding bug...but he said "you're not happy, are you?"...I didn't say anything...his friend came over so he had to go.

I know I don't own him...nor do I want to...but I'm not sure if my feelings are valid...I'm actually really hurt that he even signed up for the class without telling me first because we are planning a future together, or so I thought. I know I can't keep him from doing things, but I feel like riding a motorcycle is a big decision and I'm not sure I want to be with someone that is able to take that risk...and doesn't consider how I might feel.

Should I just not say anything when I see him tomorrow? I haven't had any sort of fight with him ever...I don't like nagging and always give him his space...but I feel jipped.

Thanks...please...I'm really looking for help and serious answers.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The biggest mistake you can make is not telling him exactly how you feel. You're not nagging him you're just concerned. If this is the person you're going to marry and start a life with you need to feel comfortable sharing your feelings good or bad. You can't build a healthy life with someone always walking on egg shells. Just sit him down and talk it out.

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What Girls Said 4

  • One of the things that would make a good relationship is communication

    Express how you feel, or I can bet you will become passive aggressive and create more problems

    You don't have to fight or nag, just say how you feel listen to his side of the story and move on with the relationship

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    • Yeah...you are right...I feel like I've already become passive aggressive because I didn't pick up his phone call twice...I don't know what came over me...but I don't like it

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    • Just take your time, it'll work out all the best

    • Thanks so much! I appreciate your help!

  • Dont worry about it your feelings are valid and if you're planning to spend the rest of your lives together then it is important that you guys can communicate your feelings clearly with each other whether its good or bad. At the end of the day its hard to keep your feelings bottled up. Its not nagging as long as you do it in a mature way.

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  • i don't think you should ignore him, just try to work things out

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  • i would try to talk to him instead of ignoring everything

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