Long-term girlfriend and I are getting

back together... we were together 5 years and broke up 6-7 weeks ago, and now are well on the way to getting back together...

she says she has only hung out with this other guy as a friend once a week/every other week during the split. and I've seen her nearly every day in the last week or so. she made it a point to tell me she was flirting with other guys a few weeks ago, but has also tried to make it clear she isn't interested in dating and has not yet been with a new guy to "Rebound".. I did notice when I was over there the other day though, she had an overnight bag with His and Hers KY in it. I didn't think anything of it until now since I am to be planning this awesome date for her tomorrow, and I honestly don't want to be with her if she was able to so quickly and non-chalantly be with someone else so soon after so long and not even be adult enough to admit it...

am I over analyzing this or what? input greatly appreciated


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you are over analyzing this a little. I mean yes, it is possible she hooked up with someone, but technically this is not cheating as you two were broken up.

    I know it's a hurtful thing to find out an ex girlfriend or boyfriend is or has been with someone new, but it's a part of life. We all make mistakes. I'm sure whatever she has going on with this guy is not going on any longer, as it seems like she really does want to be with you.

    She may have felt nothing for this guy, as it seems to be the case, since she is coming back to you.

    What I am about to say is said as a Human being who isn't perfect and makes mistakes: Sometimes we do things that are uncharacteristic of how we normally are because we are going through a rough time. Perhaps she hooked up with this guy because she was missing you or hurt. Maybe hooking up with someone was her way of dealing with her emotions at the time. I've done things that I never thought I would do, but I am a human being and am allowed to change my mind and make mistakes. I wouldn't fault her for sleeping with someone, as you don't even know if she has.

    She could have had the lube to use a sex toy on herself? This is also quite possible. Maybe she got this lube in anticipation of you two reuniting?

    I think you need to sit down and think about whether you truly want her back or not. You need to think of the pros and cons and not allow your brain to doubt her love for you because of something you think may have happened. If you need to, ask her about it. But I wouldn't consider her 'damaged goods' to you if she has slept with a guy.

    People make mistakes. Chances are she probably won't be doing this again, and if she did do this she was doing it when she was technically single. I wouldn't put so much weight on what she did during the break-up.


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What Girls Said 2

  • i don't think you are over analyzing this

  • i don't thin you are.she was trying to get other guys.


What Guys Said 1

  • No you are not. Sadly my guess is she did hook up with this guy. She would deny it to the grave though, so you will need more evidence or maybe she will admit it. Sometimes people break up to stray, but come back when it is not what they think it will be

    • Exactly. She did not cheat as you were broken up, but everything points to her having looked for and gotten some action on the side.

      You should be okay with it though if you are legitimately getting back together, IF she passes the test of not flipping out if you tell her (politely but straight up and unapologetically) you got some action on the break. If she calls that cheating or becomes hysterical etc., steer clear.