Please help: is he playing me, does he actually like me? Confused!!

I really like this guy, so much that I am kind of scared. He says he likes me, makes references to the future, and when we are together we have an amazing time( like says he isn't going anywhere, talks about vacations in the future ). We have not had sex or anything yet.

I have known him for around a year and we get along really well. I have actually told him that I think he is my soul mate (this was a long time ago I didn't think I would ever see him again, but thought he needed to know, stupid I know !)

We were dating about six months ago until he got back together with his ex (which he was totally honest about!). He has left his ex, and contacted me and asked me out again.I was more than shocked when he contacted, especially after What I told him.

Now that we are seeing one another again he is hot / cold. One day he is texting a lot and saying all kinds of cute things, another he isn't texting at all and is basically AWOL. I do a lot of the contact initiation, sometimes he does.

He is also canceling plans. On Saturday when he cancelled plan he said "there's no rush its just the beginning for us " in regards to us being disappointed that we couldn't see each other this weekend,

Honestly I don't know what to think, and I don't want to get too attached and really hurt.


Most Helpful Girl

  • He is not playing you, he has stuff to figure out. But my personal opinion is that I think when people are in love , they do not act hot/cold or they do not put people in dilemmas and missignal them.They just shouldnt.They should be sure enough to act on their feelings,if he likes you,he should be able to articulate that.He is just doubtful about so many things,got a lot of going on in his head. DO NOT let yourself get carried away before it is too late, before you have stronger feelings.Talk about things,do not hold yourself back.I hope he does not hurt you :(

    • Thanks! Yeah I agree about what you say. If you love someone (or think you could love them) I don't know if your send them mis-signals. It's upsetting because he is always saying one thing and showing another.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Refernces to the future. Short relations. Hyperactive attraction. Instability. Diminished response. Avoidance.

    Fine, you called me back, so let's really assess this thing.

    The first red light is when anyone who has not known you for a long time starts promising trips, sagas, and other lovely things that they have not shown any promise towards. The man didn't buy tickets ASAP to take you to the Riveria he promised you. Feeding people promises at the beginning of anything is relatively a sign of immaturity, delusion, and attempting to please.

    The second red light is how long you've actually known him, which is not long at all, a mere year, and during this year he dated someone else, making it even less fruitful to by into. He makes extravagant promises but is with someone else? Why make the promises if you're unavailable? A sign of instability.

    The third red light is how quickly you fell for this man and how easily he held your interest with what would otherwise be obvious falsehoods. If I told you today "I'm taking you to Vegas!" would you believe me? No. Probably not. So why him? You were already head over heels. Even if he has the means he would never need to use them so long as the promises and cute statements kept flowing like honey and you kept sucking on his teets for that lovedrug.

    The fourth red light is how quickly he dimished his response. In the course of a year people generally do not explode onto the scene with ridiculous lvl 10 promises and then return to lvl one conversation or behavior. He's so crazy over you and then suddenly it's just a matter of keeping the milk flowing so as to appease you. To shut you up from whining while also keeping his own autonomy.

    The fifth red light is his Avoidance. Man says he can't live without you. Now has the ability to live with you and the first thing he says is "Yeah, well, don't fret, we got forever." > Wait, this man was DYING without you making ridiculous promises for your happiness and now suddenly is placcid about you when you are available? Really? That's bullsh*t. And I am calling him on it.

    You're being worse than played, you're being a puppet dancing to a song you didn't even know you were listening to.

    There, that's my opinion. What else do you want?

    • See what happens when you read the question? That answer was 10 times better! Cut me straight through the heart...but it explained everything I needed to know. Thank you! :D

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    • I am sure I am wrong. Wondrous. That just makes this a waste of time. Have a wonderful night. Or day. I need to stop thinking everyone enjoys my side of the planet.

    • Love your advice

  • He is playing you. Men suck.

    • what is wrong with you ? are you always this harsh?

    • Yes. Usually.

    • Do you really think so? Would he risk going back to someone with those kinds of feelings? I guess I don't understand the player mentality :( thank you both

What Girls Said 2

  • i would say he is playing with you

  • he knows you ar esaf,e why would you let him have a second chance? he just knnows he has you wer ehe wants so he's not genuinely interested.

    • Has me where he wants for what exactly? He knows how interested I am, why risk it, why come back? No offense to women but when we are attached and get burned we tend to not take it so well! Logically it makes no sense.

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    • If he isn't interested then why come back, that's what I'm asking.

    • Thank you for answer!

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