I went through a break up last year and today I feel like I got a big set back. I got really emotional about not being able to go to an event because he'll likely be there. I'm pissed he's still affecting me like this, even when I 've made significant progress. Maybe it's because I technically haven't started getting over him until 4 months ago (I had to begin the healing process all over again since we used to talk a month after the break up but then he quit texting me). I'm tired of caring about my ex and thinking about him and I want to stop. How do I convince myself to stop caring? How do I make him dead to me like I am to him?
Most Helpful Girl
I just went through a rough breakup and I know how hard it is to stop caring and thinking and stressing... I think time is one of the best healers, but here are some other things that will help you:
1. Date other people, even if you don't feel ready for another serious relationship yet. Just date, get to know people, and get a reminder that you are attractive and have your whole future ahead of you.
2. Take care of yourself, physically and mentally, and work on putting your best foot forward. Use this transition to improve yourself and your life, instead of looking at it as a failure or something that's worse than before.
3. Distract yourself with hobbies, friends, and family. Don't get stuck thinking you can't have fun without him, because that's just not true. Fill your life with things you love, especially things that keep your mind occupied.
4. If you are cutting off contact (and it's a good idea to do so), do it completely. Don't check his Facebook page, don't google him, don't ask his friends how he is. Don't email, text, or call. Try not to spend much time with mutual friends or people who remind you of him, at least for now. You need a total break, a rest, a chance for your mind and heart to reset. Then you will regain emotional strength and be less affected when you do run into him later.
5. Try getting your feelings out of your system by writing in a journal. This can help provide closure, and sometimes when I write something down, it's easier for me to stop thinking about. Talking to a trusted friend could also be helpful.
I hope this helps! Breakups are hard- I just found out just how hard for the very first time and I'm still learning to deal with it. But all of the above tips have helped me to make progress and remain optimistic. It will take time, though- getting over something like that doesn't happen overnight. Be patient, cut yourself some slack, and realize that it's normal to be feeling the way you do. Good luck!3