I miss my ex girlfriend, but she dumped me. What can I do?

She and I dated for almost a year. She then dumped me because she felt the relationship was not going anywhere. In fairness to her, I was not the perfect boyfriend. I did take her for granted at times and did not tell her that I loved her after 10 months of dating.

I did try to get her back when she dumped by writing her a long letter, followed up by an email and then finally a personal meeting. I poured my heart out to her and promised her my love and devotion, but she wasn't hearing it by then. Her mind seemed to have been made up.

We went NC for more than 2 months and then I saw her here and there because we have mutual friends. At first she was somewhat friendly, but then cold when she heard I was dating someone (I was not, but did go on dates here and there). I ran into her recently and smiled and waved at her, but nothing more.

I wish we could get back together, but it's been 7 months since the breakup and it seems so hopeless. I should be over this by now, but I am not 100% there. I think part of the reason is that we are in the same community and I run the risk of running into her at functions.

Any suggestions as to either get over her completely, or go after her again? I don't know if I can chase her again because she dumped me and she told me that she had guys (even exes) chase her all the time, and I would rather not be like those guys.

Updates:
I appreciate all the comments. I guess I know that deep down the right thing is to hold my head up, maintain my dignity, and not contact her ever again (and I have been doing that, but I still wish we were together).


However, my problem going foward is the following: Do I avoid where she will be to spare me the heartache, or go ahead and attend because I have friends who will be there too? I may also meet other women at such events. But, if I see my ex, especially with a guy, it will hurt.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • you can't do anything to get her back. tr yot move on and date other girls

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What Girls Said 3

  • You need to get over her, hopefully you learned some lessons for your next relationship.

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  • from this point all you can do is move on

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  • Forget that girl. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Don't listen to anonymous. That isn't being a wuss. That's doing what you had to do. You gave it a shot and it didn't work. Now it's time to move on though

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    • Thanks. When she first broke up with me, I didn't put up a fight and walked away. I only sent her the letter when I started missing her and realized that never telling her how I felt may have led to the breakup. I tried to get her back just that one time, but did not pursue after that. Of course, I couldn't help it that we are in the same circle. So, when I did run into her I decided to be friendly and say hi rather than ignore her or appear angry.

    • Well if you have a chance to talk to her again, maybe tell her what you need to say in person. Tell her it isn't an attempt to get her back and that you want her to be happy. It that you Meredith tell her how you feel. And it's OK if she doesn't feel that way

  • Man up, don't make the same mistakes in the future . This current girl is History. Find a new one.

    "I did try to get her back when she dumped by writing her a long letter, followed up by an email and then finally a personal meeting. I poured my heart out to her and promised her my love and devotion, but she wasn't hearing it by then. Her mind seemed to have been made up."

    The above quote made me vomit. Never wuss out like that again dude.

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    • haha...thx, dude. I guess I deserved that comment. but, like I said, I was not very expressive with my feelings during the relationship, so I gave it my all when she broke up with me. what's the best thing to do then at getting dumped? I don't want to be an angry ahole. best to smile and say bye? I have been nothing but friendly whenever I bump into her, but I do not stalk or otherwise contact her.

    • The best solution to avoid break ups is pay attention to her interest level in you. Women give subtle clues that they're losing interest in a guy long before they actually leave. When she says she wants to break up...simple say "okay", and go your separate ways. Once she decides to leave...nothing you say or do will ever change her mind. It's over forever.

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