Help? What to do about my ex-best friend & my ex-boyfriend-ish type…thing?

*Names changed

I could really use some objective, unbiased advice.

My ex-friend, Eve, & I were best friends for more than 10 years. A year ago she dumped me out of nowhere & to this day I still have no idea why. Even so, I still love her, care about what happens to her, & would do anything for her.

My ex-whatever-the-heck-that-was guy, Sam, & I were off & on for about 6years (Yep. I know). I pretty much would just wait around for him to come back & delude myself into thinking that “this time would be different.” But then the last straw was the last straw & I called it quits for good a few months ago.

Fast forwarding to yesterday, (through the all powerful method of social media) I found out that Sam is now Facebook friends with Eve, in a “Facebook official” relationship (not with Eve) (though for 6 years he never considered us official), & to top it off he unfriended me (who even does that?).

So, I may be making mountains out of molehills here given that I don’t know the extent of the friendship or how they met (neither knew each other in the past). But I have my hackles up at the thought of Sam hanging around my friend. Here’s why:

He will make you believe that you are everything in the world to him, & up & leave you with no warning. He lies so much that even he’s not sure what’s fiction & what’s not. He uses people, he has an agenda. He plays games with other people’s feelings. Relationships don’t mean a thing to him—he’s there to get what he wants, that’s it. He’ll make you believe that he’s a gentleman & that he’s so kind…but he’s not a nice or good guy at all.

I’m not an isolated incident; I know he’s done the same to other people.

^That all probably sounds horrible. It does & it is. But his bad qualities are on par with if not outweighed by his good ones. He is extraordinarily charming. That’s what makes him so confusing.



Eve & I aren’t friends anymore…but if he hurt her in any way, so help me God. I would feel responsible because I’ve been there, done that. As I said, I still love her & would do anything to protect her.

Tomorrow I am seeing Hayli, a mutual friend of mine & Eve’s. I don’t want to drag her into the drama of either of these break-ups (I’ve kept her out of it so far). Nor do I want to be the crazy ex & tell these two people they can’t be friends. What I do want to do is explain to Hayli what’s going on & ask her to keep an eye on Eve for me. I want to ask that if Eve says anything about Sam to her, to please tell her I said please be careful, please watch your back. I want to ask Hayli to tell Eve to talk to me if she needs confirmation. I want her to know that he’s bad news & nothing but trouble. He will break her heart.

The other option is, of course, to stay out of it. Maybe it is not my business since Sam & Eve aren’t in my life anymore. But I’m not sure if I can sit by & watch him toy with her.

Advice? What do you think I should do? What would you do in this situation?

Thank you in advance!

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What Guys Said 1

  • well I would say carl seems like a good friend I would date him

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What Girls Said 1

  • If she was any sort of real friend to you, then she was around for those 6 years you let him mistreat you. So, she should already know what he's capable of and if she wants to be friends with that, then that's her prerogative.

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