I could really use some objective, unbiased advice.
My ex-friend, Eve, & I were best friends for more than 10 years. A year ago she dumped me out of nowhere & to this day I still have no idea why. Even so, I still love her, care about what happens to her, & would do anything for her.
My ex-whatever-the-heck-that-was guy, Sam, & I were off & on for about 6years (Yep. I know). I pretty much would just wait around for him to come back & delude myself into thinking that “this time would be different.” But then the last straw was the last straw & I called it quits for good a few months ago.
Fast forwarding to yesterday, (through the all powerful method of social media) I found out that Sam is now Facebook friends with Eve, in a “Facebook official” relationship (not with Eve) (though for 6 years he never considered us official), & to top it off he unfriended me (who even does that?).
So, I may be making mountains out of molehills here given that I don’t know the extent of the friendship or how they met (neither knew each other in the past). But I have my hackles up at the thought of Sam hanging around my friend. Here’s why:
He will make you believe that you are everything in the world to him, & up & leave you with no warning. He lies so much that even he’s not sure what’s fiction & what’s not. He uses people, he has an agenda. He plays games with other people’s feelings. Relationships don’t mean a thing to him—he’s there to get what he wants, that’s it. He’ll make you believe that he’s a gentleman & that he’s so kind…but he’s not a nice or good guy at all.
I’m not an isolated incident; I know he’s done the same to other people.
^That all probably sounds horrible. It does & it is. But his bad qualities are on par with if not outweighed by his good ones. He is extraordinarily charming. That’s what makes him so confusing.
Eve & I aren’t friends anymore…but if he hurt her in any way, so help me God. I would feel responsible because I’ve been there, done that. As I said, I still love her & would do anything to protect her.
Tomorrow I am seeing Hayli, a mutual friend of mine & Eve’s. I don’t want to drag her into the drama of either of these break-ups (I’ve kept her out of it so far). Nor do I want to be the crazy ex & tell these two people they can’t be friends. What I do want to do is explain to Hayli what’s going on & ask her to keep an eye on Eve for me. I want to ask that if Eve says anything about Sam to her, to please tell her I said please be careful, please watch your back. I want to ask Hayli to tell Eve to talk to me if she needs confirmation. I want her to know that he’s bad news & nothing but trouble. He will break her heart.
The other option is, of course, to stay out of it. Maybe it is not my business since Sam & Eve aren’t in my life anymore. But I’m not sure if I can sit by & watch him toy with her.
Advice? What do you think I should do? What would you do in this situation?
Thank you in advance!
Help? What to do about my ex-best friend & my ex-boyfriend-ish type…thing?
What Guys Said 1
well I would say carl seems like a good friend I would date him0
What Girls Said 1
If she was any sort of real friend to you, then she was around for those 6 years you let him mistreat you. So, she should already know what he's capable of and if she wants to be friends with that, then that's her prerogative.0
You cannot undo this action. The opinion owner is going to be notified and earn 7 XPER points.