Am I being too hard on myself? I'm 24...I feel like I should have things a little more together.

I'm 24 years old and I wish my life would come together. I know it's not that easy or simple. I can see that.

What I originally decided to do as a career tanked...miserably. I also experienced health problems this past year, part of why my career tanked. I'm better now.

I am going back to school for a similar career just based in a different subject area. I really like that subject area. I hope it will make a difference.

I've never had a serious relationship. My self-esteem isn't holding up so well these days. I've been putting more effort into trying to rebuild a social circle, in hopes that social networks and social support will help.

Things seem to be slightly better in that respect, but it's still slow-going.

Should I be worried about not being serious with guys right now? I'm just worried because of cultural stereotypes (Don't shoot!) that as I get older, as a woman, things will get harder.

I also don't look my age, which is starting to be comforting, as opposed to annoying.

Thoughts, advice, etc.? If you have something mean to say, please don't. There's enough crap in the world. Why add to it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Building a good social circle can be especially difficult when you're battling with your self-esteem. It takes a daily dose of stepping outside of your comfort zone and forcing yourself to reach out to other people. Remember that the biggest concern to anyone is themselves. They're not worried about your problems, they're worried about theirs, so don't think so much about what's wrong with you when you approach someone, think about them and something you can honestly say you like about them. Get interested in OTHERS. Take care of your personal responsibilities, take care of your health and hygeine, etc, but focus on their interests and skills, and they won't be able to stop themselves from liking you, whether you're looking for a boyfriend, or just a friend.

    People in their 20's have such high expectations for themselves. Don't expect yourself to know what the future holds, and don't assume you know the best way to succeed. Take care of the big things such as school, your finances/credit, professional relationships, etc, and combine that with your genuine interest in other people, and I promise you, your life will start to lead you in a direction you like. Everything else will fall into place.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Thx 4 Best answer :-) Work hard at school but find a balance to your social life. Good luck!

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What Guys Said 4

  • You can't 'make' your life come together. All you can do is work on yourself, try to be a more complete person, more experienced and able to deal with problems..

    Life will 'come together' when the creeks rise...it will happen in due time.

    Yes, you're too hard on yourself. Not having a serious involvement when you are immature is a plus..you aren't carrying regrets and baggage like many other people!

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  • Everyone goes at their own pace. What matters is that you take steps to achieving your goals and aspirations, whatever they may be. So what if you fall down along the way? You get right back up and push on.

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  • at 24 I thought I would have downpayment for a house and my life on track. between moving and not working for 2 years. Just over the past few months I startedsaving for a house and I'm living at home. I'll be 31 or 32 before I begin house hunting.

    what I'm trying to say is people get to stages in life on their own terms and if you think you have to be at X stage by Y year just work for it but remember it does not have to be that way.

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  • everybody has a hard time getting their life together, don't worry about it

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What Girls Said 6

  • It's understandable that you are upset. Part of being a single adult, or maybe an adult period, is facing challenges and unknown life changes and taking them in stride. Be proud of yourself for doing this! You seem to be on a good path. Also, no, I don't think a boyfriend is needed right now you have got a lot going on. If one comes along...great! :)

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  • Yes. It's one thing to have plans and goals go awry and be upset but you're picking yourself back up in the school career aspect. And don't worry finding good job in certain career feilds is a little tough since the economy sucks and businesses aren't trying to relly hire anyone. The social medi thing I mean if that floats your boat I gues you souldn't need to rely on it much since there can be so many internet gangsters and haters, but I men there are alsosome decent peole in the internet sometimes to but eh whatever worksfor you. You're 24 you don't need a man before you get yoursef straightened out first. And since you're 24 young looking or mot just straighten out yourself first when you're ready there's no need to completly rush or throw yourself into a tailspin helping to put your body back in a bad state of health.

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  • yeah I think you are being too hard, just be optimistic.

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  • You're being way too hard on yourself. In life you never stop making mistakes but you also never stop learning. If you get knocked down..get back up and come back twice as hard. I'm sure everything that you have experience in life, somebody has been through a similar situation so your definitely not alone.

    stop putting "having a relationship" on a pedestal. It sounds cliche but learn to be happy with just yourself. this is the time for you to discover who you are and what you want from a guy (and never compromise for him along the way). it's also the time to reflect on your history with guys and see the mistakes that you made. It's not the time to feel bad that you're single and its not the time for you to start settling for less. I think you should focus more on YOU. Don't put your focus and energy on building a social circle or finding a guy. things like that come natural.

    Dont worry about being a certain age and feeling you should've been at point A or point B in your life. Do things on your OWN pace.

    Glad to hear your health is better :)

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  • I'm 25 and I have 2 jobs and I'm still struggling with lots of things in life.

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  • i think you are just too hard on yourself

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