I was hoping to get some advice from women about the actions of an Ex girlfriend who broke up with me..

Advice from women "or even men" who have experienced my situation before should not include "just get over it and move on man". I am well aware of that and that's what I'm doing. Those replies usually comes from boys or girls with no life experience yet. So if that's your advice, don't bother.

Ok so I dated this lady for two years. When we first met I was 28 and she was 38. If you saw us,you would consider us the perfect couple, she was my best friend, we had everything, even favorite movies, in common, our physical relationship was out of this world. She had no kids at the age of 38 and hadn't been married since she was 26. We always spoke of kids, marriage, we even named our unborn child. She would always tell me how she loved me with all her heart which is something people just don't say to every or anybody. Eventually everything ended because it was bad timing. We broke up in October of 2011 and by feb 2012, she was engaged to another man who is 55. It's so weird to see her with him which is probably a good thing for me because I find it kind of humorous. I'm not a cocky individual by any means, but I think it is a huge downgrade from what we had together. I honestly think she broke it off with me because I wasn't close to being able to marry her, although I had every intention of doing so. Plus before we broke up, she was making a huge deal out of turning 40 and not having any kids, almost like her time was running out.

So after giving a little back ground about my situation and despite how close we both came to marriage, when I see her around town, she acts as if I do not exist and it drives me insane. About 6 months after we broke up, I emailed her telling her that she didn't have to worry about me bringing up our relationship or the past when I saw her. To make matters worse, we worked together at the time so I was so ready to bury the hatchet, just so there would be no awkwardness at work. I had no problems doing so, but she couldn't do so and I never understood why, since she broke my heart and broke up with me. I could co-exist at work but she never could. She would remain cold a hell towards me. We would pass each other in the hall, I would look smile and wave only to notice her looking at the ground while passing me, like I was a damn ghost. Now we both do a lot of running at a local trail. When she goes to run, often she goes with her husband. When I run into them both I smile and wave as we pass. Her husband will return the wave but she will not. It is so weird. I figure she continues to act cold and avoid eye contact because she is with her husband. So then I pass her somedays by herself and she still looks away as we pass mere feet from each other and acts so cold, like I don't exist. I just don't understand and it hurts simply because she was my best friend and vice versa, now I don't exist. Plus I have confided in her with some very personal things. It makes me wish I hadn't. Why do women do this? It's like she's scared to see me. Why


Most Helpful Girl

  • Let me say this isn't just a woman thing. I was in love with my ex boyfriend--very much in love. I used to tell him, "I love you with all my heart" and I did. I broke NC a month after he dumped me texted him ofter like I used to and it annoyed him. So he hasn't spoken to me in 4 months. I don't know how he feels about me but I'm going out on a limb and saying he doesn't like me and will ignore me when I see him at a get together on Sunday. I know that'll bother me but I won't let it show. I still have feelings for him, he has zero feelings for me. I can't do anything about it, so I just have to embrace the time I had with him as my best friend and boyfriend and move on. People come and go in your life. It's a sad fact. You can take solace in the fact that maybe they'll come back into your life someday and that you and they may have to work things out in yourselves before that happens. They probably won't be back in our lives as lovers but at least it's somewhat more likely they'll be our friends one day down the line--that is if we're okay with that.

    To really answer you question though, she may very well feel guilty or that she can't talk to you because of your past relationship. She probably sees that there is no way you and she could have any kind of friendship. It sucks when someone ignores you, especially when it's an ex and someone that used to be close to you. But focus on your future and not your past and I assure you that will help.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm the same way , I don't like talking to exes . It's just not my thing , If they speak I will to and go on . I don't know why you guys broke up you gave little detail . But that could be the reason , Maybe she had a problem with the 10 year difference and notice that you wasn't ready for what she wanted , I know it's hard but you wasn't ready for what she was ready for . So she found someone who was , She's now focusing her attention on her husband . And leaving the past in the past , Men need to understand what you're not willing to do . Some other man will .


What Guys Said 1

  • Listen man. The reason why she is doing this is because in her eyes you have nothing to offer her anymore. Her focus has shifted away from you. This is getting to you because it's a blow to your ego, no less (I can't believe she's not talking to me). The minute you admit to that it will become less painful.

    Most women do this type of thing because it's their nature to do so. Women will talk to you, do things with you and even will be with you but when they are done with you then that's it. She already has someone else that fills her wants and needs so she has no more use for you in her life. It doesn't matter how you were in the past, what matters is what she has now.

    Another thing is that she doesn't want to take the chance of having feelings or sexual attraction for you again and screw things up with the person she loves. To avoid conflict it's best not to get into conflict in the first place. You weren't ready for her but someone else was, so she will not do anything to jeopardize that.

    You are her past and she has no obligations to you, not even "friendship" or even a hello. She has moved on and that's that. Even if you told her that you have moved on and everything is OK she doesn't want to take the chance. She probably figures that she has wasted enough time on you.

    Talking to an ex sometimes means there is still a connection to be kept in some way. Women usually collect a certain amount of men to fill their needs but she only needs one.

    • Your right man, but there is more to our situation. I'm 50% sure that she might not have wanted to end it, because she told me on several occasions after the break up that she struggles not to call me. But she's a "glass half empty" type of person. There's more to it, so I guess it's not a fair question originally. My main failure is basing her actions off mine. Meaning it was hard for me to look at her because of butterflies&she could see right through me. Hoping that may be why she can't look at me.

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