Realized, I really want my ex-gf back.

So a year ago my ex and I broke up. Essentially we split because her mother didn't like me, she didn't know how she felt (I'm her 2nd relationship), and she was just in a bad place. At first I was a wreck I must have cried for about 5 days straight. I've never been one to do that at the end of a relationship. Usually I am cut and dry. With her I felt as if I lost my soul mate. She said that we broke up because she didn't feel that passion that she did when we first met and that though she loves me a lot she didn't think that's how it felt when you are with someone for a length of time. From being in a few long term relationships I felt that after a while the passion or shall I say new car smell goes away. She also lack(s) direction with her career and is fixated on finding such. I get that my career means a lot to me.

Now, after being split for about 3 weeks she texts me and then calls me basically saying she misses me. So we casually start talking, then hanging out. We went away on a vacation a month later and emotionally connected with one another. We've talked literally every day since that time most of the time 3-4 times per day. Now, I love this girl, she says she loves me that I am her rock, and how happy she is to have me in her life. However, when I bring up getting back together she tells me that right now isn't the time but she doesn't know about the future. Given that I feel like she wants to see what else is out there and is keeping her options open with me. She hasn't dated anyone since we broke up, every guy she has talked to bailed on her, so she comes back to me. At the present we have a platonic relationship. She kissed me about a week ago and we started going at it but I stopped telling her that I don't want to be a back-up for her and vice versa. I want to get back with her. I've talked to many girls since our break up went on a lot of first second third dates but no girl has given me this spark that my ex does. No girl makes me think or feel like she does. I am giving myself a time frame for doing this (roughly 6 months) if at said time it doesn't come to be than I shall pack my bags and move on with my life. It just baffles me that all the signs are there for us to be together but she tries to turn a blind eye. For christ sake she calls me pet names, cutie, etc. ALL the time. Someone please give me some pointers or insight. Thanks a ton!


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What Girls Said 1

  • You obviously care deeply for this young lady. It sounds like she cares about you too, and wants you in her life. I think you are doing the right thing by setting up boundaries. Have you tried asking her if she feels the same way about getting back together? And if so, why not? Maybe you two could work together on a solution that works well for the both of you ! Like dating exclusively or dating at all.

    • Thats thing. I did. She tells me she didn't expect when she met her future husband that she'd feel like this. She tells me that she finds me attractive, thinks I am the most amazing man she's ever met, but she just doesn't have that passion she had when we met. Mind you she's on antidepressants and currently going through a world of stress. She cried for a whole weekend because I wasn't available and she thought she'd never talk to me again.

What Guys Said 1

  • Don't ever get back with an ex. It entails a lot of baggage.

    • Normally I dont. Once its done I cut it off. This is the first girl out of the 30 or so I've dated that I actually fell for totally. She wasn't just another girl she was/is my best friend my rock. We have something really special. I wish I could just move on but every time I do I always end up back closer to her.

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