How do men feel about dating a single mum?

I'm a 24 year old woman, recently separated and getting a divorce, I have 2 boys aged one and 2, my ex husband is very involved in their lives and is an excellent Dad. I go to college full time, home studying a separate diploma, I go to the gym and swimming 6 days a week and I work weekends when I'm not doing that I'm with my babies and friends. I'm really out going, ambitious and always happy and I like a good laugh. Would the fact that I have 2 children and I'm always busy be a massive turn off to men? I'm not really concerned about having a boyfriend right now but in the future I don't want to be alone forever. Also I never want to get married again or have any more children, I might consider living with someone again but Id properly be more happy I'm a relationship with someone if we lived separately. Is this a massive turn off to?

0|0
310

Most Helpful Guy

  • it depends on who are you dating. First I think someone with children will bond and also will understand you better since they've been there done that, they will need to leave you for a few hours on the weekend or whatever to deal with his own children etc.. you can get a young guy who doesn't have children but you will need to work your magic like crazy to drive him crazy to be with you for the long term and that takes time it seems you're very busy. I do think it is a turn off for someone without children that is really into you to swallow that because dudes have needs too, some of us are very clingy (like on you 24/7 if you are within my field of view), some of us want kids of our own, the sex is also important like I don't just want I need my girl to do me at least every other day and would love her to do me at least once a day. bottom line from my experience (no children) I would date a woman with children but I would consume most of her time, I'm extremely high maintenance, long showers, gym time, grooming time, beauty sleep, shopping, etc. (no I'm not gay, just like to be looking good for my chick it makes me feel confident) then on top of that the sex which I also need all the time not everyone is like me but do you understand? the living separately is not a turn off at all but I do think that boyfriends without children will not last unless they cannot have children

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 9

  • It's a dead turn off definitely. Women without kids are much more desirable than those who have kids.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Here's there issue. Half of the guys at your age are good honest guys that will eventually want to marry, move in together, white picket fence... the other half are the cocky live for the moment guys that just want to have fun and get laid every now and then, likely with different women each time. It's hard to find someone there in the middle and then to add to that you have two kids. Not saying it's not doable, but it will be difficult to pull off. I wish you the best of luck, everyone deserves to be happy and with someone that cares for them

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think you will change your mind about marriage and living with someone, personally. Being that busy would be an issue because I'm pretty busy too so I probably would see a girl like that 3 hours a week, unless I lived with her. You'll get out of school eventually and you probably won't swim 6 days a week while having a relationship and a job but who knows. Initially, I'd say having kid is a negative thing to me, but if I got to know a girl with kids I could see the kids potentially growing on me so it may actually be a positive bonus to the relationship. A lot of girls your age and a few years old are single moms, don't sweat it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • To me it's not a turn off but it is a red flag and I'll tell you why.

    I want a girl to grow old with and a single mom makes me think she already made that decision once and obviously didn't make the right one (except for a widow of course). So she'll have to convince me that with me it will be different. My sister dated a single father. Sweet guy, great kids... But he ended up making all the same mistakes that ended his marriage. We all try to figure out if a girl/guy will be right for us... Being a single parent basically is a "bad credential" for that.

    So not saying it makes you undatable, it is a red flag.

    0|0
    0|0
  • massive turn off

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hey,
    I think we are still in the midst of an attitudinal shift toward the acceptance of single parenthood. Most single parents are invariably women. Fewer people are marrying today and marriage is decline. Therefore, these factors will make stepfamilies a lot more common and single mothers more accepted overall.

    I have been dating a 28 year old women. She's a year older than me and has one daughter who is 9 at the moment. Although we share a lot in common, the main qualm I had was that I have to gain the acceptance of her daughter too. I kept wishing she had no children so there was some chance we could build a family together.

    I now realise all these wonderful qualities that make me attracted to her were developed over nine years of being an amazing mother to her daughter. She has empathy, compassion and understanding. These are important qualities for building a lasting intimate romantic relationship too. Moreover, if the single mother is a great mother to your stepchild, there is every chance she'll be a wonderful mother to your own children if you ever do decide to settle down together and start a family.

    I think the real telling question guys in the same situation me is not:

    1. Should I date her because she is a single mother?

    But,

    2. What kind of single mother is she too her kids?

    I shall be upfront here in saying that dating single mothers is a lot more challenging because, if you do eventually become serious, you will inevitably have to build a healthy stepparent relationship with her child. She will consider her child's disapproval of you as a serious red flag. You have to grow up quite fast.

    I found that if you are willing to embrace the challenges these are defiantly the best kind of relationships you can have.

    Something has probably gone awry in their previous relationship. Yet, don't buy into the myth they have more emotional baggage than any other women. The main difference is they had a child with their previous partner.

    I should finally point out that these kinds of women aren't interested in being saved financially or you necessarily being a replacement parent for their child. They only want your love and loyalty.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's quite a lot of baggage and drama if she has a child.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It will be a turn-off to A LOT of men.

    If you wanted just a casual relationship, it would still be a turn-off for a lot of men, though fewer. A boyfriend will end up having to some extent to care of your kids. The fact that you don't want any more kids will mean less incentive for a guy who might otherwise not be turned off.

    Your best bet is to date a single father.

    If you reconsider about not having any more kids, you will have more options.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Turn off for me. Not that there is anything wrong with the mum or the children, but if I was to have a family I would like for them to be my own.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • I think it is a turn off yes most men want a woman with no children.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's never about the children if you don't have the or make time for the guy then don't even try.

    0|0
    0|0
  • they are put off by it

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...