"Men are always looking for something serious": True/False?

I read this article that men are always looking for something serious but when they tell you they're not, they might have just put you in the potential-wife/gf category & how you react determines if you become a hookup, wife/gf-material, a crazy girl, etc.

Obviously if you're hooking up, then he's probably just trying to back out of expectations, but this recently happened to me when we weren't sleeping together or even kissing...

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  • "Please note I said men, not boys. Boys are looking to have relations with as many women as possible until the end of time. Men are willing to have relations with as many women as possible but are simultaneously keeping an eye out for a good woman they want to be with exclusively."

    So what he's saying is, only men as he defines them are always looking for something serious.

    If you asked him what proportion of the single male population in your dating range were 'men', I suspect he'd give you a pretty low number. If you asked what percentage of the guys who actually get laid are 'men' it would be even lower.

    As for his 'this is code to see if you freak out', sure, this has happened in the history of the planet, but do NOT waste your time chasing after guys like this. Similarly there are girls who really want to be friends first, take it slow, then date (and then magically become super sex goddesses).

    Don't waste your time on people who are gunshy about the kind of relationship you want.

    Many guys just want to hookup. This is code for nothing. Lets call them 'A'

    Some guys are hooking up but open to something serious. If they say 'its nothing serious', you are probably FWB zoned. Lets call them B.

    Some guys may be hooking up, open to something serious, but only interested in something serious with a girl who can casually handle it. We will call these guys 'C', though not that even guys in group C, normally if they say 'nothing serious' the girl in particular hasn't qualified.

    Then we have guys who are looking for something serious, and will say so. They may say 'I'm not sure where this is going yet, but I like you and want to know you better'. We will call those guys D.

    I have a confession. I was a 'D' type guy. If I were single again? I might be a C.

    But as a woman, why f*** around hoping a guy who says 'its not serious' is a type C and you have qualified? The odds are 50-1 if a guy says its not serious, its NOT SERIOUS. Hell, even if I were single, I doubt I'd outright lie. I might say sh*t about seeing where it goes and not being in a rush and not in a hurry to settle down with anyone till I know them really well. But outright 'its not serious' as a test? F***, even on the one in 50 chance you are not FWB zoned, why would you want to sit around hoping, that if you're really lucky, he's a f***ing baggage-laden nutcase who is gonna lie and test you to see how you react to things?

    If a guy says its not serious, assume he will never, ever, ever be monogamous to you and love you.

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What Guys Said 10

  • I think it deepens on the kind of guy . A good guy will want a serious relationship. I'm like that I don't want a one night or just a flirt. The rest of men and women in that case almost 70 % of people now just want fast food relation. Balls deep action and that's all. I think its really sad the way to culture his going.

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  • I'm usually looking for something serious. If for some reason things don't work out or I realize I'm not Into her, then we remain friends or part ways but I never just find girls for hook ups. I if decide I want to be more serious with a girl, I'll naturally progress things. If I don't want to move forward with her, I'll make it evident that I want to be friends, I might even tell her. If he specifically tells you he doesn't want anything serious with you, he either just wants sex and/or friendship.

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  • Partially. I honestly go more with a mutual attraction kind of deal. This is mainly talking in the "first conversations" type of thing.

    The thing is, most guys will tell you that when they mention they want a relationship, the girl runs like hell. So they wait and see if the girl admits to wanting a relationship. The other thing is how soon the relationship topics come up. If they're coming up in like 2 meets it can turn people off. So both may claim they're not looking.

    This guy's mainly talking from a possibility standpoint. If a guy sees a girl claiming to want a relationship then suddenly goes off flirting with other guys, he's glad he didn't jump into anything because he now sees that she's trouble. So he puts her in the "hook up only" category. So at first he saw a possibility of a serious relationship, but she blew it. So he'll hook up with her and nothing more.

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  • Considering the majority of men are simple nice guys, I'd say it's true.

    "...when they tell you they're not, they might have just put you in the potential-wife/gf category"

    See, the problem with that statement is that it gives you hope that the attractive bachelor not looking for serious thing will change his mind thanks to your behavior . That he, somehow, will magically find out how wonderful you are and will willingly propose to you. It's a nice thing to think/believe, sadly it's unrealistically untrue.

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  • I disagree. We aren't always doing anything.

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  • No, not true at all. We're always looking for something fun.

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  • Personally I am, but I'm pretty sure not all guys are

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  • False. Definitely false.

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  • I agree with that the statement, but I don't agree with the rest of the article.

    Here's how I'd explain it.

    Actually, perhaps 'looking' is too strong a word. I'd say, "Guys are always open to something serious". That is true. When have you ever heard a guy say, "No matter what girl comes along, I don't want anything serious with her"? I've never heard that. But it is true that some guys are more open than others. In other words, some guys will require less persuasion than others. Some guys will be open to serious relationships with more girls than others. Another way of putting this is a statement I've heard elsewhere: "When a guy says he doesn't want anything serious, what he means is he doesn't want anything serious with you."

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  • false it depends on his attitude and age. I ran around the block multiple times and crashed my heart full speed against the ground multiple times like a loaded 747 (I did that when I was younger). my chick I like so I stayed with her because I already did everything else mature dude will want to date you a young dude wants to run trains on you with his friends and be disrespectful because its "cool" on the other hand someone pure like a virgin will want to be with you forever so it depends but its just an assumption

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What Girls Said 4

  • I don't think they are all the time.some are not ready or interested in anything like that

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  • Some use this method to varying levels yes and they're likely looking for the right girl some stage, maybe not now. If you ask me it's the right way to be and I'm the same. I won't have anything other than FWB until I fall in love. I don't want to be stuck in a relationship where I've been guilted into saying "I love you too" before I feel it and having hypothetical conversations about marriage and kids. These hypothetical conversations are misleading. Eventually the eager one to get into the relationship will eliminate the "if" from the hypothetical. And then you're screwed. You have to shatter someone's perceived future when you realize the situation you've gotten yourself into. You're doing nobody a favor by getting into a relationship when you're just testing the waters.

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  • Not true...

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  • i think it could be true partly

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