Am I leading him on?

So I got into a relationship about two months ago, when my ex knew about it, he came to my doorstep yelling at me saying that he still loves me and that I shouldn't be doing this to him and that he wants me back, that was on the day I announced getting into my relationship on Facebook.

I calmed him down and told him I would always be there for him and that I would be glad if he wanted to be friends. After a long talk we decided that we would be friends and since then we text/call 24/7 I see him more than my boyfriend. He always tells me that he loves me and I tell him that I love him too and every once in a while I mention him being a very good 'brother' now I don't know, I feel like leading him on, my boyfriend knows about him but he doesn't know that he loves me.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a potentially disastrous situation. If your boyfriend finds out about your past relationship he might feel betrayed at least on some level. Your ex almost certainly thinks that what you have is more the friendship and almost certainly hopes you will drop your boyfriend and get back with him. I don't see how he could think otherwise when he gets more attention than your boyfriend does. How could this not end badly if you allow one of the two guys bring it to a head?

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    • My boyfriend knows that he's my ex but what he doesn't know is that he still has feeling for me I tried to tell him but it doesn't make any sense for me to go to him and tell him oh baby my ex still loves me what if he go and figjt with him I don't want this to happen ! And actually my ex is the one who's always texting/calling and my boyfriend is employed so naturally my ex would have more tine to hang out its not like I'm ditching my boyfriend for the ex

    • I don't recommend that you tell your boyfriend about your ex's feelings for you. What I'm saying is that if your boyfriend finds out on his own or through your ex, that could cause some damage. I understand your desire to be friends with your ex. That does carry responsibilities to keep it strictly as a friendship. I don't see how that's possible when your ex loves you.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You're not leading him at all.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You obviously already know that what you're doing is wrong. It's not fair to your boyfriend, it's not fair to your ex, it's not fair to anybody. You need to make a decision and break contact off with one or the other. You can't go on like this.

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    • I made it clear to him that I love my boyfriend and that it's gonna be a friendship nothing more, is it my problem that he can't accept it?

    • The friendship you have is inappropriate. Fair or not, this is how life works for adults. You need to cut off relations to him and go on with your lives instead of hanging on to this high school fantasy of friendship after a breakup. It's obviously not working out for you.

  • i think it is totally unfair and you should brek up with your boyfirend because what you are doing is not ok

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