Are we on the road to getting back together?

My boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago. It was a mutual break up in the sense that he expressed some doubts, and then I said the words, "well then I think it's best for us to break up." I didn't want to break up and I felt forced to do so...

Well ever since, my ex has reached out to me in some form daily. One day he will text, the next day he will call, the next he will like something on my Facebook... and so on. We have both expressed our regret for the relationship ending because there was nothing actually wrong in the relationship.

Today, we talked on the phone for the first time in almost 3 weeks, it felt like no time had passed and we had an amazing, fun conversation. During which, we both mentioned that we still had some things that belonged to the other person (nothing substantial or anything) and we were joking about it. I think he picked up on my underlying tone because he said that we would talk about this later... and specified that we would talk about our relationship later. I didn't even bring it up. He later suggested that he could 'swing by' to say hi, and possibly hang out later this week.

He has also not told his mom that we are broken up, and has even been saying that we are still together. So this, combined with the communication, and today's conversation is a good sign? Are we on the road to getting back together?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No doubt you have a great chance to get back together,

    But don't let him sweep all the issues that made you break up under the rug; they might be hidden for now, but they'll be back to haunt both of you if you don't work them out between you!

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What Guys Said 5

  • To be honest, you guys never split up officially even though you verbally stated it. I think in today's society we are so caught up in words that we lack the perceptual ability to detect the meanings behind words. Your sudden blurting of the break up statement was out of frustration and haste; I think you both took it literally and you parted ways but something Inside you knew it wasn't what you truly meant and he felt it, thus you never really broke your connection with each other. What you two need is better communication. Why not go up to him and simply tell him what you've told us regarding why you felt forced to say that? I think if you two were more open with each other, this wouldn't have happened. Also, ask yourself why you felt forced to quickly express that. Do you always feel the need to be the one who ends things first? Were you afraid of the possibility of getting hurt if he was the one who said it instead? I think you two are fine, just talk to each other wholeheartedly and honestly and all will flow.

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    • Yeah that's what I think so too. I made it quite clear to him that it wasn't something that I wanted to do and I felt forced into doing it. He was saying things like he felt he wasn't ready for a relationship (he's fresh out of a 5 year abusive relationship), that he felt he couldn't make me happy when he wasn't happy himself, so I even asked him like 3 times what he wanted to do and he didn't reply. So I took that as my cue to end things, even though he ended things first, I just said the words

    • If such is the case with him, it's better that he's not in a relationship at all. Coming off of an abusive relationship and then attaching on to you is unfair to him and you because he most likely has unresolved issues that will probably come between you two. So as before, I don't think either of you wants to end things but in light of this new info you've shared, it might be in your best interest. If he's having issues with being happy and places that reaponaibilty on you, it won't work, that's

    • not you job. Obviously you can make him happy to an extent but filling a void in him won't work out and only cause you to feel inadequate, which you aren't :) So once again, you two need a good talk and if he can't seem to figure out what to do, give him time but I think it's best to maintain a friendship rather than a relationship during that time.

  • Mutual break up? Ha! Yeah right! I'm more interested on what the grounds for breaking up were? Sounds like you guy's communication was at a 3rd grade level. He expressed some doubts...and then I said, well then I think its best we break up.

    It sounds like he was insecure about something, you really aren't that into him, so you said...lets break up. Or you brought up breaking up, only to see his response.

    One or both of you are doing something that's killing one anothers interest level, which resulted in this immature spat. Figure out what that something is, and either stop it, or get out.

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    • I didn't want to go into detail because I have written a previous question on it. But he fairly recently out of a 5 year relationship and she was not a good girlfriend to say the least... very abusive and he is fearful he about that happening again. He has been super busy with work lately and he expressed that he feels he may not be ready for a relationship and he said he feels he can't make someone happy when he's not happy himself. He has been showing signs of depression lately. So I broke things off

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    • (sorry my internet connection died) I broke things off because I thought it would be the best thing for him since he was saying things like that. I didn't want to break up. It was not an 'immature little spat' thank you. I don't like your tone with me at all.

    • I do care about him and I want to be there for him, which is why I'm sticking around and wanting to work on things. Don't you dare put words in my mouth and say that I don't care.

  • It could be. But the underlying issues that caused the breakup need to be addressed, or you'll be right back in this position in a couple of months.

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  • We need to know more, to be able to help. Why did you break up? Are you being social and not just waiting on him? More info is needed to help.

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    • Sorry, I asked a question about his behavior previously so I didn't want it to seem like I was repeating a question. He is recently out of a 5 year abusive relationship. She ended things suddenly because she didn't love him anymore. I don't think he has processed it yet, plus I think he wants time to be single with no demands. He told me that he felt he wasn't 100% into our relationship, that he felt he wasn't ready for the type of relationship that I wanted, and also that he felt he couldn't

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    • Never stick with someone because you have invested so much. You continue to compliment him and list his good qualities, and mention his mothers love for you. But don't forget that YOU yourself have your own qualities and deserve happiness. If you have to give more than you receive, that isn't love. You said yourself that you're starting to only react. Follow your heart yes, but use your head, and listen to that gut of yours. If he's the one, it'll happen.

    • I'm not wanting to stick around because I've invested a lot. I love him and I want to show him. Here's the break down... my heart says stay, I love this man, I told him I would be here for support and I want to follow through with my word. My head says... leave, you deserve better than this, even if he isn't dong it on purpose. I don't have to stick around to help him. My gut says... everything is OK, wrong timing and to be patient. He's not jerking my chain, just confused and stressed.

  • Those are quite the good signs. You're on the road.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I wouldn't get your hopes up. He's in control right now and he knows it. You need to turn the tables a little bit and not speak to him for awhile.

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    • What makes you say that?

  • On the road

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  • It doesn't really seem like you fully broke up to begin with, and given everything that's happened since, it seems like you're on the right track.

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    • Why does it seem like we haven't fully broken up?

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    • We are still in contact, yes... but it is substantially less than what it was. We used to talk on the phone everyday and our conversation on the phone the other day was our first one in 3 weeks. Right now we talk mostly every other day, if not every day. But it is some form of, "Hey how are you? How is your day? etc etc" very superficial talk. We did tell each other that we missed each other last week

    • I guess it is different, but saying that you missed each other is big. I wouldn't worry if I were you. Sounds like it's inevitable that you'll get back together.

  • nope.. on the road to getting myself back together, ha.

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