we have been together for 1.5 years. last few months my boyfriend always complains I'm a nag, annoying and a drainer and I ALWAYS have to be the one basically begging him to catch up. when we do catch up I can tell he enjoys my company but then after its like he just wants his own space 24 7. it hurts because I don't know how to get things back on track again. it just seems like everything is more interesting than being with me. I did try stop "nagging for a couple weeks" it didn't seem to do anything. in fact it made me nag more because I was so unhappy that he didn't even give me attention then. we broke up about a month ago and he was the one who basically begged for me back. we have been together for a couple weeks and its gone back to normal again. don't know how to fix this or what he wants from me. if I'm scuh a "drainer" then why did he want to be back with me.
Most Helpful Guy
Whenever you take on the role of "running" things, you end up with the responsibility for things being run. He's dragging it because you're nagging. You're nagging because he's dragging.
Stop trying to run him. There may or may not be a future for you, but you got to stop running him, managing him. Stop being responsible for him. Let him be responsible for himself. Let him be late, wrong, bad, whatever all by himself. Concentrate on the stuff that you do yourself. That will either make him shape up, or drop out. Either way is preferable to what you've got going now.
And remember, just because you decided something, didn't mean that you actually AGREED on anything. Just because you put up an ultimatum doesn't mean that he has any stake in the decisioin. One cardinal female error that is repeated over and over again is that you believe that something is agreed on when it is simply you who have expressed a wish, and assumed compliance.
If you decide something, assume that he's into it. If he is not coming, not doing his part, go on without him, AND WITHOUT THE STUFF HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO. Leave him behind. Leave his behind. Do stuff on your own.
BUT NEVER EVER do it out of spite. Or to punish. Just do it when the situation requires. If you start "punishing" him, you just leave him right now. That is just evil.1