Am I a cheat? Should I blame myself so much?

Hi everyone, I am in search of good advice on my issue. I had been dating with my boyfriend for 3 months when he went to the army for 2 years. I was 19 then, so I promised to wait. I saw him 4 times in 2 years, and after 1.5 years of his absence we had a quarrel and I wasn't feeling good. It was then that I started seeing one of my best male friends more often and we ended up spending several nights in my appartment - there was no sex, we wre kissing and hugging, and lying together, but we didn't have sex. After this we stopped seeing each other but we were talking on Skype Because this guy is a really close friend whom I treasure but he is madly in love with me. In a week's time we fixed everything with my boyfriend and I went on waiting for him. We are having a wondrrful relationship and are planning our wedding. I don't see or talk to the other guy, and I love my boyfriend so much, but guilt makes we so sad! I feel like I have cheated him badly! And I hate myself. What shall I do?
I should add that I did tell my boyfriend that it happened , but I didn't tell him it lasted for several days. He forgave it to me. And another thing, the two years are already gone, by boyfriend has been back for 2 months, so happened about 8 months ago


Most Helpful Guy

  • I always get so many downvotes when I bring up spiritual well-being next to emotional well-being, but for anyone who has experienced deep inner release down to their core will know that the two go hand in hand.

    You got your boyfriend's forgiveness. Good. This was necessary.

    You didn't tell him it lasted longer, but he knows enough that you emotionally cheated on him and he forgave on that point so more lavish details are not needed.

    You didn't have sex. Good.

    You set the other guy straight. Good. This was also necessary.

    Now there are only two things remaining for you to do.

    1. Get forgiveness from God.

    2. Then forgive yourself.

    This will make you feel better and help you to put it past you permanently.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Tell him and see what happens.

  • Well, you did cheat on him.

    A relationship has to be based on honesty.

    You're storing up trouble for yourself if you keep the truth from your fiance, especially if this male friend really has deep feelings for you.


What Girls Said 2

  • Yes. You kissed another man and he spent the night with you, that's cheating.

    I mean, I understand you hadn't seen your boyfriend in a while and had a little fight but that doesn't justify what you did. I honestly think you should tell him BEFORE you get married. It's the right thing to do, he deserves to know. I don't know him so I don't know what his reaction would be but it's better for him to find out now rather than a year or so down the road after you're married and then he would know you lied to him for a long time. It sucks but I think it's something you need to do.

    • I told him about it, but I didn't say it lasted several days. He forgave me then, but I feel faulty :(

    • Show All
    • Than you, you were so helpful!

    • No problem! Glad I could help:)

  • Yes it is kissing is considered cheating.It is good you ended things when with that close friend as it could of led to more as he has feelings for you.


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