Was I played or is there more to it?

This has been bothering me for awhile now and I think the closure of knowing will help me move on a little. I know that girls get played quite frequently (and guys as well) so I am wondering if this is the case.

So basically I had the biggest crush on the night time manager at a cafe I would go to regularly to study. Most of the workers there know me and my roommate and we even have nicknames and a reserved table. I had been going there for close to 6 months before I managed to get the courage to give one of the managers my number. I knew I was going to be leaving town for the summer so it was a now or never situation.

He texted me the next day and we made plans to get together the following day to hang out. We had a casual conversation throughout the day when he eventually stopped replying. The next day he cancelled our plans and didn't mention a reschedule. That weekend when I went to the cafe I struck up a conversation and when I left to go home we started texting again and he was back to seeming interested. A few days went by when we were constantly texting and eventually he invited me over to watch a movie. It seemed as if we hit it off. After that first day we spent every day together ( I was leaving for the summer so we were spending as much time together as we could) he told me he liked me and other things along those lines. Then the day before I had to leave we were supposed to hang out (and I had told him I was planning on sleeping with him) but we ended up not being able to hang out that night and he told me that he really liked me and would miss me while I was gone. The next day I found out I would be in town for a few extra days and I ended up spending the night at his place and we had sex. The next morning we spent all day together before he dropped me off that evening.

But the next day he told me it was unlikely that he would be able to see me before I left, so instead of waiting around I booked the next train home. I would be back in 3 months but it is still a long time to go without seeing someone so it was frustrating he didn't make an effort. While gone, we texted a little but he seemed more distant. About a week and a half later he texted me telling me he was seeing someone else. He told me he didn't know if he was making the right decision and urged me to continue coming back to the cafe once I got back in town and that he would always want to be friends. He still keeps in contact over Facebook as well.

I feel like he used me to get into my pants, or he was seeing the girl before me and knew that I was leaving so decided to get involved with me since it was inevitable that he wouldn't necessarily need to commit.

Is it as simple as I was played or could there be more to it?


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What Guys Said 1

  • It's possible you got played, but honestly I think it was bad timing on your part. I'm not saying that to be mean, but you kind of set yourself up for him to potentially use you for sex since he knew you'd be going away for an extended time. It may have been better if you had held off sleeping with him before you left for the summer or held off beginning anything with him at all until you came back in the fall. Sorry things didn't work out.


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