How do I get married? I just want to get married.

I'm honestly sick of relationships and high hopes. I just wasted 3 years on my ex. He got everything from me, sex, love companionship. I wasn't focused too muh on marriage but I thought it would eventually happen. I don't want to waste more time and years from my life on some loser who won't marry me! I just want someone who will stay, I will put up with him. I'm 21 now, cute nice girls who's just graduated. What am I doing wrong :(

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, for starters, it seems like you're treating sex, love, and companionship as some "gift" you're giving to a guy, and then expecting "marriage" in return.

    Do you really want a guy to ask you to marry him out of reciprocity? You really want him to want to spend the rest of his life with you because he feels guilty, or in order to return "the favor" you did for him by having sex with him? I know girls who think that way, and they all work the corners of 42nd Street between 10pm - 4am.

    Next, if you honestly feel that sex, love, and companionship is some favor you're doing for the guy, then maybe it's a good thing you and that guy never got married. When you're with the right guy, sex is something you're both getting, love is something you're both getting, and companionship is something you're both getting. You don't "owe" each other anything, because you're both giving and getting roughly equally.

    If you don't enjoy the guy's sex, love, and companionship, then why would you expect him to marry you?

    Yeah, I think you're approaching it very wrong.

    Guys aren't put on this earth as a social welfare policy for women. Their purpose isn't to find some woman, marry her, and then take care of her for the rest of her life. They get married because they're in love, and that's what society has fed them as a social script they need to follow when they're in love ... "ugh, I'm in love, what do people do when they're in love? oh, well, I guess they get married. I don't know why that makes sense, but it's what other people do, so I guess it's time for me to do it too." That's the most honest rationale for why guys get married.

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What Guys Said 1

  • arange a wedding somewhere get a husband and family then there you go

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What Girls Said 2

  • Dont focus on marriage, this is what you are doing wrong. Enjoy being yourself! you just graduated so the world is your oyster! do things for you. The purpose of a relationship is to join with someone similar in a partnership with shared goals and common interests. You will probably meet someone doing things that interest you. Your only young so focus on enjoying life. At the end of the day you are better to wait 10 years to marry the right person, than jump in quick with someone isn't.

    Why is it that you want to get married so badly anyhow? It is really important that you are happy with yourself as a person before entering a relationship with someone else otherwise you look to them to make you happy, when ultimately you are responsible for your own happiness, and relying on someone to make you happy is not going to work. If you really just want someone to 'be there' look to your friends to do that, make sure your social circles support you, which might reduce the need for you to find someone.

    Chin up girl, you didn't waste three years with your ex, you changed, learnt and developed as a person. May not have been the best experience, but experience of all types is important and valuable.

    LIVE Young!

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  • mail order groom? be careful what you wish for. sometimes the most sanest looking people end up being violent psychos who have a penchant for eating cocktail shrimp :/

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