Does going through a divorce make you a bad person?

I ask this because I feel like a bad person. I'm divorcing my wife and I am almost 21 years old. I feel like when I tell people they think I'm a piece of trash for it. They do not understand and they ask why I didn't give it a chance. The thing is I gave it my all and so many chances to work.

Would you be deterred from talking to or dating a guy going through a divorce?


0|0
43

Most Helpful Guy

  • No, sometimes people just jump into things without really even knowing each other. It's better to divorce when you realize the mistake you've made.

    Admitting a mistake is one of the main signs of emotional maturity. Some traditional people don't accept divorce because they think it's morally wrong, but most people nowadays would think it's morally wrong to stay together when you're not compatible.

    0|1
    0|0
    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • thank you for not jumping down my throat. my reasons for divorce are not something small or petty and I know most people would not be in a marriage with someone who says they love you and that person hurts you beyond what you ever thought possible. I did not name specifics because there will always be divide when divorce is the issue, pro marriage people will always belittle those who divorce and same with the other side.

    • thanks for the vote!

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • Sorry but I most likely wouldn't date a guy who's divorced, especially so young. I take marriage extremely seriously and refuse to divorce unless my husband is beating me. If a guy divorced his wife just because they couldn't "make it work," that suggests he doesn't share my views on divorce.

    0|0
    0|0
    • well obviously your views lack a lot of experience because it sounds like you do not know what a marriage is about. love cannot hold a relationship together it can't its impossible. I won't let my self has a disfunctional marriage and be bitter because I didn't want a divorce and years later down the road kick my self for it that's what most people do. you live in a fantasy where divorce can be filed on a lot of things. emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse

    • My beliefs come from my parents who have been together nearly 30 years. Sure they love each other, but that's not what keeps them together. It's their dedication and respect for each other, and also their promise to stay together through the good and the bad. Clearly they took that promise seriously and so will I. It sounds like, however, you didn't take your vows seriously if you're giving up after such a short time.

    • K.

  • it doesn't but it's a disadvantage. people assume you have issues,and that you're flaky. but it doesn't make you a bad person,people just make assumptions. it'll take you more work but it hardly makes you undatable

    0|0
    0|0
    • when I get into the specifics then people begin to realize why I made my decision not jumping to oh he cannot commit and is flaky. marriage is the ultimate commitment and I gave all my self to this girl and she didn't appreciate anything anyone did for her among many other things.

  • doesn't make you a bad person just makes you a person who rather let go than to fake a love that is not there anymore

    0|0
    0|0
  • no. but...idk if I would believe you gave your all. most people give up quickly. it does make you less attractive as a potential mate though.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 2

  • A lot of girls would be judgmental and not get the details of what actually happened and dismiss you.. This is silly because if you were cheated on in the marriage suddenly you're not dating material? These girls are not worth your time though as they do not have what it takes to date a truly good man. You could have been abused in the marriage and needed to get out.

    What was going on in the marriage and the reasoning behind the divorce are what matters. If you were doing something crazy like beating up your wife and stuff then yea, girls are gonna avoid you. However, other guys are gonna worry about what kinds guys the girl is attracted to if she chooses to date again, so you're both gonna have a hard time dating.

    I do think 21 is very young for a marriage, but you could have been together since like... 16. So girls may assume you rushed your marriage. Another issue I see is that you're looking to date while going through the divorce. I find that to be a warning sign that you're likely to jump from one girl to the next. Marriage is a big commitment and if she meant anything to the guy, the guy would be scarred enough to need time to recover from it. You're looking to date already and you're not even divorced yet.

    2|0
    0|0
    • well my reasons for divorce are my own but it is summed up to emotional abuse by her. My decision has been back and forth for the past 8 months so my feelings have died a while ago. I do understand and if a girl cannot accept what's going on with me then I will look else where it does not make me have issues such as you and everyone else thinks. it is really on her why I made the choice and why I had to end it

  • Going through a divorce does not make someone bad. Nor can people assume that you didn't have enough reason based on your age.

    I doubt that many girls would want to date a guy who is in the process of a divorce. They would not expect him to be ready to commit or fully available to devote himself to them.

    0|1
    0|0
    • i appreciate the good incite :) thank you

Recommended myTakes

Loading...