Why does she do this?

My ex girlfriend and I broke up because she wouldn't ever listen to me when I was trying to help. She dropped out of college because of her depression and her father stopped making his payments since her parents are divorced. Her car is about to die and her family doesn't seem to give her any guidance. I've told her in the past to try and finish college, get a better paying job and work towards a used car. She never did any of that and always complained about it. I got so frustrated trying to help her and she never listened. She would have eventually held me back because if we lived together, I'd have to help pay her college debts and be the one to take loans since she has awful credit. I have no college debt after graduating and I don't have bad credit. Why did she never listen to me? She never did and still doesn't. I was only trying to help her do what was best and she wouldn't do it. Why is she this way? I still do love her and I really want to go back to her but I know she will hold me back from starting my life. Girls...are you stubborn this way at all?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Not sure exactly but sounds like she could be apathetic because of the depression. My sister has needed medical help for depression for years but she has fought tooth and nail not to get treatment. Several guys have dumped her, she's got few friends, and her life just sucks. I don't know what it will take but she's not going to go willingly. Some people would rather live a sh*tty life than confront their issues and others, if they are depressed, illogically consider treatment to be ineffective and therefore pointless. Maybe she's just used to it and is trying her best to manage but it is difficult to finish school when you're depressed.

    Well, sounds like you've done all that you can for her. We all have our limits and if she's not willing to meet you halfway by getting help then you guys won't be happy together anyway. Some people have to learn the hard way, meaning they have to reach their lowest point through their own actions in order to realize they need to start helping themselves. I feel bad for her but also for you. You can still be there for her as a friend and it may seem like not enough but in the big picture that's huge.


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What Girls Said 2

  • You can't change a person. She's the stubborn type, and no matter how much you love her, you can't expect her personality to change. But you are wrong as well. You say she will "hold you back" .. that's a bit of a selfish comment, don't you think? When you are in a relationship, it's about give and take, She deserves a guy that

    1)wont criticize her, (I wouldn't be surprised if she says that your "advice" to her while in a relationship was just that)

    2) Will help her with her debt, with no strings attached, because he loves her completely, and she, in exchange, would make his life better somehow.

    You seem to have your ambitions and goals set up. This is a good thing. This will help you find someone who is equal to you. You want someone stable, without her own drama. With her finances in order. It's good that you two broke up, because you are not compatible. Let her go, she will find her own light.

  • she sounds very stubborn, I think you should date other people.


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