How can I become more social and extroverted?

Sometimes I can be shy and self conscious. I don't always know what to say, so I simply don't say anything. I get the feeling that some people think I am snobby and rude because of it. I don't try to be rude, but I am just kind of shy. I've even been called "withdrawn". I used to be very social and bubbly and made friends easily, but at work I'm kinda quiet around most people because I don't really know them. I feel a bit excluded and kind of sad at work because a lot of them are cliqued up together but I don't really have many people to talk to. Outside of work, people tend to be drawn to me and will go out of their way to talk to me and I like that, and in turn I will talk back to them to. When I am given a chance I do well socially, but I'd like to not have to depend on other people's outgoingness and willingness to start a conversation. So how do I become bubbly and social again?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Read Dale Carnegie.

    I was/am exactly like you, and there's nothing wrong with it! But the world is much kinder to extroverts in general, so it's helpful to be able to be comfortable using that personality. I've found that empathy is everything. When you can see things from other peoples' perspectives, see their insecurities, it's easier to be confident and reach out to be nice to people. I break out of being shy when I see other people that are shy and I want to make them feel more secure.

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    • * Read his book: "How to Win Friends and Influence People". It's clever, simple, funny, cute, and insightful all at once. :)

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What Guys Said 5

  • well, it seems that work is affecting how you function socially,

    find a group or clitque at work, go with each person from the clitque out to lunch till you know every person individually, then eventually join their group for drinks after work and its like everyone knows you, it works for me all the time, or befriend to most open person from the group and use that person as your IN, into the group.

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  • Work is usually inhibiting because you can't show your real feelings about people most of the time. Don't feel bad about seeming shy since you're not part of the'in' clique there. Shy is a good way to be when they're all going to unite if any one of them doesn't like something you do, or say!

    Try your best to get to know someone that appeals to you OUTSIDE of work where others won't listen in on your conversation! Of course, people will know you like that person, so be careful what you say to him/her until you are sure you won't be betrayed..and be prepared to have a joking attitude to the resulting gossip!

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  • extroversion is just a bias of contemporary morality.

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  • Toastmasters and improvisation and acting courses

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  • ure a girl , no guy cares about any of that , unlike girls who want perfect looking guys and a lot of other things

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What Girls Said 2

  • Introversion is something you are born with and I don't think it can be changed. Luckily, you can become a more social introvert. I recommend you train yourself to smile at strangers. You'll come across as warmer and friendlier. :) And when you get comfortable with that, try smiling at a stranger and saying hi. Once you do it, you'll see it's not so scary.

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  • Practice practice practice. Talk to people, engage. The more you do it, the easier it'll become. Sounds simplified, but that's really all there is to it.

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