Why can't I hate her?

I want to hate my ex, maybe then I'll stop crying over what we have. I want to hate her for lying to me. She told me we would be back together in two weeks. a lie. She told me to just wait for her and we would be back together. A lie. My ex asked me to not date anyone. I even turned down a gorgeous girls advancing in college. She actually asked me out and I said no. I said no to an amazing girl who I had more in common with than my ex. A few weeks later that girl got a boyfriend and I lost my chance with her. Now my ex won't even talk to me. She deletes me on Facebook, and won't even respond to my one letter I sent her asking for some of my stuff back.

I want to hate her, but I can't. I love her too much to hate her. Every song either reminds me of us or our break-up. It's been over 4 months and she is still always on my mind. Sure it's a little less, but she is always there. Everything reminds me of her. The places I'm happiest at, I was happy at with her. I love going to baseball games, but every time I'm there I'm reminded of her. There's times I have to just go away from people because I feel like crying.

I'm 20 years old and I can't get over a girl. I still have thoughts of not living. I thought I was over them, but there are still times I don't want to live. I'm not going to hurt myself, but I get depressed I even have those thoughts. I want to re-invent myself because I am moving, but I don't know how. I was told time heals everything, but it hasn't. We dated for 3 1/2 years, had our lives planned together. People who don't know we broke up ask about her all the time. How come you aren't with you girlfriend. I say we broke up, and they go that's too bad, you seemed like the perfect couple. I hear those words in my head everyday now. "The Perfect Couple" I just don't know what to do anymore!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It took me well over 6 months after both of my LTR (which were both over 3 yrs, one of them closer to 4 yrs) before I was over that person. I went through severe depression but eventually worked my way out of it. You'll get there too, time does heal. Sometimes I still miss them both, but neither are as good for me (or I as good for them) as my fiance is. I knew 4 months after I met him that I would say yes if he asked me to marry him, he did after dating for 8 months. We've now been together over two years and we're planning our wedding for next September :) You are so young, you will find someone else. Things change so much in your twenties, I bet by the time you're my age you will understand clearly why you and her were't right for each other. Love isn't ever enough for forever, it takes a lot more than that. Give it more time, you'll get there.

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What Guys Said 2

  • The only way to do it is to just do it. You never turn down a girl coming on to you. It's time to move on - put your big boy pants on and man up.

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  • That sucks man, it really does. I know this because basically the same thing has happened to me before. The only thing I can really say is that time WILL heal things. Maybe not completely but enough where you'll be able to go about your days without dwelling on things. In time you'll be able to think about her and a few minutes later completely forget...a day or two later you'll think of her and say to yourself "wow, I really went a day(s) and didn't even think of her"

    From your situation it just tells me that you're the bigger and better person. She doesn't deserve you. No one deserves a lying cheating person. At the very least you deserve to be talked to and not deleted from Facebook. etc.

    Don't get your hopes up yet, but I'm sure she WILL talk to you again someday, afterall you guys dated for 3 1/2 years. Hopefully you'll be over her by then

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