My boyfriend is talking about moving away and I am freaking out!!

So I have been dating this guy for about a month (but we have known each other like 4) and he is in the Marines. We already live about an hour away from each other and see each other once or twice a week. Now he is moving about an hour and a half/2 hours away to take a better paying job and go back to school. I think he should do what is best for him, because in the end it is his life and there are no guarantees about where we will end up. Now I am freaking out because I will barely get to see him, he said he knows it can work because he has had friends who have had much longer distance relationships. I am afraid though because I am starting to apply for jobs and mostly everything is not even close to where he is moving. I just want this to work so much but I'm so afraid it won't.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • "He said he knows it can work..."

    That depends on the couple and the circumstances. In your case, you two haven't known or dated each other very long. How long does he plan to live two hours away -- months? Years? If it's years, the chances of the relationship working out long term are very low, so it's understandable that you're freaking out.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Not much you can do about it at this point. He's gotta make his decisions, you gotta make yours.

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What Girls Said 1

  • He's taking the innitiative to improve his life and situation (which would benefit you as well if the relationship became permanent). Have you considered how you would feel if he'd talked to you about this job/school opportunity and then said he turned it down to stay close to you? I would imagine you'd be somewhat greatful and flattered, but then what? Wouldn't you feel a little guilty for possibly holding him back? Plus, wouldn't you wonder where his priorities were at if he was going to give up such a wonderful opportunity for someone whom he has known less than half of a year? Please keep this in mind. He sounds like a well grounded motivated person and that can be hard to come by. Maybe you could be a bit more proactive in the way of applying for jobs nearer where he is moving to. Where there is a will there is a way. I never wanted a LTR but my fiance worked away all summer last year and it brought us even closer.

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    • I never want him to regret his decisions because of me. I just worry about it not lasting, and about not seeing him as much. We already barely see each other because of the military

    • Ok, well is that the kind of life you want to have? A couple really good friends of mine are married with two little girls, he's a lifer and was absent for over a year during both of her pregnancies, He was able to make it home for both births. That is a life decision right there . . . the life of a military wife can be both challenging but rewarding, and awefully lonely. I wasn't implying that you would want him to regret his decision, I was just trying to give you a dif frame of reference.

    • We are young, 20 (him) and 22 (me) so we aren't ready to marry or have babies as of yet lol we both want to go to school (I want to start grad school and him undergrad) I don't know what I want. I eventually want kids and stuff but that is pretty far down the line for us.

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