Where do we go from here?

I know this is stupid, but I feel conflicted and need some advice. I broke up with my boyfriend as he was starting fights with me too often over pointless things. It was making me very unhappy. I hindsight, we both had a lot of outside stress in the last month we were together, so perhaps that was a cause as it wasn't always that bad.

After a month of no contact, he contacted me to see how I was doing. We've sent a few texts since then, had a few phone calls 1/2 hour - hour long and he eventually suggested we met up. We got lunch, talked and laughed for like 2 hours, then ended up back at his place for another hour. He was being a bit flirty like before we got together, but never spoke about us or tried to make a move. I thought he had wanted to talk about us, thus the meet up, but it never happened. He later text me telling me how it was fun and to say thanks.

So, what now? I would go back on the condition of an apology for how he treated me and a promise of change in behavior , though I've never told him. I don't wanna lead him on. Should I bring it up or just keep acting like a close friend?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The issues that caused you to break up will resurface if you attempt to date this guy again. I suggest you stay friends, but don't slide back into a relationship.

    Going through a stressful period as a couple is actually a great test of how a long term relationship will hold up against all sorts of life situations. You should save yourself the trouble of having an argumentative partner down the line by keeping your distance.

    Also, the fact that he didn't bring up the subject of getting back together is a sign that he's not looking for that. He may be interested in a FWB situation, just so you are aware.

    I wouldn't bring up the apology thing, because a forced apology is like no apology. I also would sooner accept a Zimbabwean dollar than a promise to change behavior, because those kinds of nebulous, life-altering promises rarely pan out well. People's fundamental natures are not terribly dynamic. I would keep him as a friend, nothing more.

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