Boyfriend isn't over the ex-girlfriend HE broke up with, am an idiot for waiting?

I started seeing my boyfriend 7 months ago, we kind of skipped the dating bit and jumped right into the relationship bit, but I didn't truly feel secure in calling him my boyfriend until about 4 months back (partially because of this). There was no "let's go steady" moment or anything, hell he never officially has even said he likes me, but I know he does (otherwise how did we even get to this point?)

Anyway, he was really reluctant in letting me know about his ex-girlfriend, and only told me about her until we'd reached past the definite relationship point. Knowing about her is necessary, because she was returning from a year-long trip away, I discovered she actually knows almost all of my friends here, and we had to go on a two week trip together (friends + ex + boyfriend + me )

Apparently he hadn't told her about me beforehand, which was obvious by her super friendly overtures to me in the beginning, and had to tell her mid trip (she was decidedly different after).

At that point, we'd been dating for three months, I was really uncertain about everything because my boyfriend was so reluctant to talk about her, and I quickly realized there were still some feelings there. He broke up with her while she was away, and this trip together was essentially the first time they'd really seen each other since the break up.

I asked shortly after that trip if he still had feelings for her, and he said yes, but it's been getting easier. He'd thought of waiting before approaching me because of it, but he was afraid I wouldn't wait (he was right, I wouldn't have). He told me she wanted to be friends, and asked if that was okay. I told him I will never be the kind of person to tell him who he can and cannot hang out with. He's his own person and that's up to him.

I thought I wouldn't have so many jealousy issues with this. But more and more I kept thinking and obsessing over it, she kept posting on his Facebook so I couldn't possibly ignore her. So three months after I first ask him if he still has feelings for her, (we'd been dating half a year at this point) and he gets a bit defensive and says "it's not that easy to get over someone, I don't think you understand." He said he's just tried not to think about it,. But when he does think of her, he feels sad. When he thinks of me, he feels happy.

I'm in love with him, but I am really uncomfortable with the idea of telling him I am in love with him when I know he still has feelings for her. He hasn't said he loves me yet either (which I don't think he'd necessarily have to at this point, but I'm not sure I'll really be able to be the first to say it, considering)

Am I an idiot for waiting? Is him feeling happy as opposed to sad when with me enough? He broke up with HER, because he just didn't see a future together. Do you think him "having feelings" for her means he loves her still? Am I a rebound?
+1 y
For clarification, he went on a break with her 7 months before our first date, and told her they weren't getting back together 2 months before our first date. He had pictures of her in his apartment for a month until after we'd started dating except for one picture which I asked him about during our second conversation, and her postcards to him are still in his kitchen hanging on the fridge.
Boyfriend isn't over the ex-girlfriend HE broke up with, am an idiot for waiting?
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