What is the main reasons guys can't forgive a cheating partner?

The fact that she cheated on you

that you were cheating and you didn't think she can have the same I idea as you

or the fact that you thought of cheating but did not go through with it and she went through with it
Updates:
I see guys who answered talk about broken trust that they feel she needed something from the other guy he could not give her so she will be out the door but when he does it he expects her to completely forgive and trust him so what is the difference between him being betrayed by her and her being betrayed by him or is it that man think that its a woman duty to love unconditionally in the face of his betrayal or is it an entitlement issue

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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. The thought of another guy putting his wang in my girlfriend is hurtful and sad. There can't be a relationship with his distraction.

    2. If she loved me, she wouldn't have cheated on me in the first place. Therefore, she doesn't love me (or doesn't love me enough, or anymore).

    3. No more trust.

    4. She disqualifies herself from being a girlfriend.

    5. Insecurity rises. She'll do it again if she's forgiven. Afterall, if a boyfriend forgives his girlfriend for cheating on him, she'll lose respect anyway. Only way I see it could work is if the boyfriend treats her like sh*t and she tries to prove herself to be trustworthy again ... but why bother? That's emotional abuse.

    Now, for the 2nd part - so the boyfriend cheated on his girlfriend, so she decides to cheat back on him to even it out? Well guess what? Both are F*CKED UP. My father told me that two wrongs do not make a right. Vengeance is a bad emotion that'll only worsen your state of well-being. As far as the guy cheating first, he's proven himself to be a complete douche bag that's not boyfriend material. An STD probably won't stop him from sleeping around either.

    The bad scenario though is that many girls don't have enough respect for themselves to put their foot down and break up immediately with a cheater, most likely from an emotional bond. If they want to make it worse for themselves, by all means, stick around and throw the drama back and forth.

    And if a cheating boyfriend cries havoc when he finds out his girlfriend did it? He's pretty egotistical and entitled like he's king kong bundy. Bad behavior shouldn't be rewarded. But unfortunately, I see self-centered entitled personalities everyday.

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What Guys Said 11

  • I think that depends on the situation and the persons ...

    I have been in the situation that my very first girlfirend cheated on me and used me for her needs ... we were together for almost a year when I found out that she was cheating and using me from the beginning and from that point it took me nearly a decade until I was able to let someone near me again ...

    just to make it clear: I didn't see any signs, and the day before I found out, I would have had absolutely no problem with taking a bullet for her... my world broke apart one day later, when HER mother called me and told me that she thinks I had a right to know.

    it isn't easy to forgive someone who did something like that to you, and honestly, if I'd see her today, I would immediately get away from her before I'd do something I'd either regret or enjoy ... if we were really forced to stay in the same room for a longer period of time, I'd probably have a very hard time not loosing my manners and keeping myself from beating the living daylights out of her ... knowing what I felt for her, makes me feel sick

    all she wanted was someone who did things for her, who would be there for her when she was lonely, when she wanted to go somewhere and needed a car, etc

    when you ask me now why it is so hard to forgive:

    when you learn that you have been used and cheated upon, and never did anything like that, or even thought about that, and really unconditionally loved someone, something inside you simply breaks ...

    some people seem to be able to get over something like this easier than others, but I don't think this differs for guys and girls in general.

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    • Very well said! I had a similar experience except the woman he was cheating with called me. It was the kindest thing anyone ever did for me. We were getting married and like you I was completely blind-sided. Like you, it was as if something inside of me broke. I have been married now for 33 years but I can STILL feel that pain in some tiny part of me and I know that I will NEVER trust that totally and completely again. I don't believe that I could survive feeling that way again. Honest to God.

  • I was cheated on before. I gave her another chance and she cheated on me with someone else. Cheaters tend to repeat their habits.

    After I cut it off with her she had a miscarriage with another guy. Then she had a baby with another guy that she cheated on too. I don't have time for cheaters. I could have kept getting back together with her but I know she'd just keep cheating on me. It was also obvious because she'd ignore me when we got together but when I broke up with her she was always looking for me. She wanted the chase.

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  • Because she's unfaithful and cannot be trusted. Men need partners they can trust.

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  • its the fact that she felt she could not get what she wanted from me, and didn't tell me what she wanted, and went behind my back to get it from someone else

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  • because a relationship with someone who once cheated simply can't exist without living in the shadow of that event.

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  • It because more often than not a girl would cheat for more than just sex. When women cheat there is always an emotional tie to it. Most men cheat with sex only. Emotional cheating>>> Physical cheat. For many men betrayal of a spouse is the biggest break of trust imaginable.Women don't realize that they can truly break a man by cheating on him. Growing up we are told that as men our roles are to protect and provide for our families. Men buy the house, but women make the home. All a man wants is to know that the wife and children that he provides for are his and when a woman cheats that brings so much doubt. He doubts the legitimacy of his children. A man can't break a home ,only women can ,so he chooses to walk away. Trusting someone at that level(spouse/partner) is probably the highest for a man. Again it is easier to forgive physical cheating as opposed to emotional cheating. Obviously of it happens more than one it is a sign to leave

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  • UPDATE: from what you're describing it sounds like you believe men feel they should always be forgiven for cheating while women are judged on a less forgiving standard. No this is crazy, cheating isn't a trait specific to a gender. Both people are wrong, unless you have an open relationship (I feel this isn't what you're asking).

    If you forgive someone for cheating (which I don't understand why you would) and then you cheat both of you are equally culpable. Any person that thinks otherwise is just delusional.

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  • There's no excuse for cheating, no matter who does it, you always break off the relationship first.

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  • I don't cheat and don't want to cheat me. I could no longer trust her, so I told her goodbye.

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  • Cheating women simply cannot be trusted in any manner, and must be cut off from communication for your own good.

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  • It isn't that I can't forgive her, it is that I can not trust or respect her after that. If I can't trust and respect my partner then it is time to end the relationship.

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    • @ update. It is hypocrisy and selfishness. A woman should not be expected to give him another chance, just because she is a woman. The only difference in gender is that women are more willing to look past an affair than men. Mostly do to the fact a woman can not be tricked into raising another woman's baby.

    • if she does it for the first time why don't you forgive she might just realize she is not willing to lose the relationship and the second time then kick her to the curb

    • Many of us have tried giving a girl a second chance in the past and either she cheated again, or we found we couldn't get over it. When my ex cheated I was disgusted at the person she had turned out to be. I no longer had any respect for her. I tried working things out but the respect was destroyed and I could never look at her the same way again. It wasn't jealousy, anger, or pain. I just saw her as less of a person because I no longer respected her.

What Girls Said 8

  • The same reasons some women can't forgive a cheating man. It hurts to love someone and realize they were not faithful and then not being able to trust them again. A relationship without trust is nothing so it's probably better off to end the relationship in that instance.

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  • once someone experienced a heartbroken after cheating. that person will hunt him/her to the next person she/his with. afraid that it might happened again. and if any chance your in this situation that your partner has an experienced of being cheat. be calm and let your partner feel that you wouldn't do the same thing, get the trust and never break it.

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  • Guys can overcome the thought of girls being in love with someone else, but sex is something they can't wrap their head around. They will always feel a girl cheated for better sex, and that crushes the ego.

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    • It's not about the ego, it's about love, if the girl I love cheats on me, that's pretty much end of everything and be sure it hurts much, you might be 39 years old but you have no idea about love, sex isn't what makes people happy.

    • sex makes me happy.

  • Betrayal of trust and lack of respect for me and our relationship

    It's devastating to know that someone you trusted could be so selfish and oblivious to my feelings and our relationship. Cheating isn't something that just happens. You knowingly cheat and engage in an emotional/sexual affair with another person

    I CAN forgive but I can't forget. Forgiving would be part of the moving on process. I think it's unhealthy to not forgive and to constantly feel hate or resentment towards a cheating partner.

    But forgiving doesn't mean I look over the disrespect and broken trust

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  • They can probably forgive but they may not be able to forget as that's the reason that ruins the trust in the first place

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  • Once a cheater always a cheater!

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  • Boys don't consider emotional cheating actual cheating so it's usually some sexual reason

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  • The fact that some other dude was "d*cking her down". I hear it all the time. Guys are ridiculously domineering.

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    • Gag never wants honesty

    • Show All
    • Lol I meant to say 'don't talk to me as if you know me'. Lots of bitter gag dudes. You gag dudes need to be put in your place. None of you can ever handle honesty I've noticed especially when a girl says it. *eyeroll*

    • she is right

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