Girlfriend talking to ex?

I have been with my girlfriend for almost 9 months and things have been good and I found out she contacted her ex boyfriend 2 weeks ago on what would have been there 4 year anniversay. I don't know what they said to each other. She didn't tell me she had done this but I found out through over ways. Should I be worried?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds kind of shady to me. How long were they broken up when you two started seeing one another?

    You should really let her know how you're feeling. I personally think that if my boyfriend did this, I'd be very upset. It feels like emotional betrayal... Why reach out on an anniversary if you don't still have feelings for someone? But maybe that's just me. Either way, you should be discussing this with her so you can get it cleared up. Just don't be accusatory or anything like that. Good luck!

    • We dated right after she dumped him. It does sound shady and I think if she's all into me she wouldn't want or need to talk to him at all. If they talked as a friend just one day it wouldn't bother me as much. But it was on a day that is usually special to a girl but they aren't together so it shouldn't be rememebered or mean anything to her. He is with a girl now and I wonder if she knows.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think this guy probably still has feelings for her regardless of if he is with someone or not. Your girlfriend got with you as a rebound (sorry, but it's the truth; she got with you right after she got out of a relationship so it is what it is). I don't know if it turned into something more than she initially intended or not but that's besides the point. I agree with silmalarde. This definitely something you need to bring up (gently) and talk about.

  • I wouldn't jump to conclusions if that has been the only sign there may be something wrong. I broke up with an ex years ago that I still contact once a year or so, to see that they're still doing okay. I have 0 interest in that person, never will again, but we had a lot of history. I'd be irritated if my boyfriend jumped down my throat for sending a "yo, you alive?" message. If she hasn't been distant with you, still seems really into you, then you've nothing to worry about. It was one message. She shouldn't need to check with you for a single message to an ex, that would be controlling.

    If it really bothers you and you trust her, tell her about how you found out, apologize for being invasive, and say you didn't dig (assuming you weren't digging) but now it's really bothering you. That was a three year relationship and you haven't finished your first year. You can feel a little insecure about it. Don't jump to any conclusions! Ask her about it first.

    • If she would have talked to him on another day I could see it as friendly but for her to pick the day of there anniversay makes me wonder. If she has let go and wanted to see how he was as a friend she wouldn't have picked a day that has to do with there relationship to talk. That would mean something personal and not friendly. She has a couple of personal things he gave her at her apt sitting out and in her car. Something they got together while on a trip to CA and a card he made. ?

  • I wouldn't jump the gun but then again I wouldn't trust them overly. How long were they together before you guys got together?


What Guys Said 1

  • Keep in mind, women cheat more than men.

    • I suspect the cheaters are going to start downgrading.

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