Post Break-Up Advice, I need another chance

So earlier this year my ex and I started dating while in the same friends group in college and on the same floor of the dorm. I always invested myself slightly half-heartedly and never really let myself fall for her because I didn't want to get hurt/know if it would last. THEN this summer I recently went to Europe for a week and the space and limited communication started to make me realize that I was falling for her. However, after I got back she decided we should break up based on the previous arguments (all of which stemmed from my lack of commitment). I realize now that I am practically in love with her and I'm left without a chance to show her how I feel.

Recently, she texted me 2 days after the break up and we carried on a convo for a good 3 hours as if we were still together. I then told her we shouldn't be doing that right after a break up.

What do I? Where are her feelings at? Any advice is greatly appreciated!
Updates:
Sorry for the lack of clarity...We were communicating as much as possible while I was away in Europe and the feelings of wanting to see each other again were mutual. This is when the space really gave clarity to my feelings. HOWEVER, during the time leading up to this, we had our really good moments and our rockier moments and I truly believe this was because I was unsure about my feelings towards her and never let myself open up completely. Thanks for the comments!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You were right to tell her that it wasn't right. Sometimes love means "letting go". Now don't jump to conclusions and think that this means that you can never be together or that you can't maintain a friendship, but from what I can see, she isn't treating your relationship like it has changed. Commitment is something developed between people. You were dating for less than six months and broke up with you based on a "lack of commitment"? That's a pretty serious crime. Think! You were in Europe. For a week. Communication, albeit possible, isn't the easiest thing to do internationally. You aren't getting the entire picture from her or there is a missing piece of information you are leaving out.

    This is merely my personal opinion, sir, but I think she is manipulating you. I'm sorry you have to hear it this way, but if she dumped you for a lame reason like "your not committed enough", then she may have found something better and is stringing you along in case it doesn't work out. Or she was trying to make you jealous and pay attention to her/ chase her. Or she could just be silly and not aware of proper break-up etiquette. What ever the reason, you were right to tell her it wasn't right to act like that. For now, keep your distance and take this opportunity to improve some aspect of your own life.

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What Girls Said 2

  • If you feel you realized you were wrong, I think you should communicate with her and tell her how you feel. It's better then never knowing if you guys could make it. If she rejects you, all you can do is learn from the experience and move on. In my opinion.

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    • Thanks for the advice. I did tell her how I feel when we broke up and I truly opened up to her then. But hindsight is always 20/20.. I'm now in that grey area trying to not communicate too much with her, but still hoping for another chance eventually.

  • I agree with H.B.25, but remember, if you start dating again, it won't work out unless your actions and words correspond with one another. Mixed signals are a huge relationship killer. Go for it!

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What Guys Said 2

  • You should just ignore her and start having fun in life. She'll come around.

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  • Girls work in cycles. They dump you and then go flirt and take advantage of guys paying attention to them and buying them drinks. Then they sleep with someone, and feel immediately guilty and cry. But, they still won't reach out to you though because you have to chase them.

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