How to tell your "bf" you met someone new... read to understand...

So me and well my "bf " (and I say it like that Because he never really asked and I stopped questioning it so we've been like friends with benefits except your loyal to each other and its been like this for months, and I've just let it be... so we had are ups and Downs often, we break up even if wer not officially together together... but yea we last broke up in the end of June for almost 3wks I thought it was over after that, but I don't know we always go back together, during those wks I started a online dating profile just to take my mind of things and talk to people I started talking to this Guy he was cool, easy to talk to a lot of compatibility, point is I liked talking to him... like wk within talking to him my "BF" and I started talking again and usually one thing leads to another and we make up... but I didn't stop talking to the guy , it was harm less at first then well a month goes by and I think I'm getting feeling I like him... I'm noticing that wen I'm with my boyfriend it's more of a drawn ... point is I would love to find out more out the new guy, he seems so different compared to my boyfriend he has the things my boyfriend doesn't give me the little things that mean a lot to me, and well he use to make an effort or when I kept bringing it up, but I don't anymore Because it gets tiring telling someone repeatedly and they take you for granted, thing is I want to tell him but I don't want to hurt him Because I still care for him but I'm better off without him and I've known it for awhile, I just haven't gone through with it scared of being left with nothing, I'd be losing a friend aside from boyfriend, and he would hate me if I told him I met someone else he'd make me feel horrible, I haven't even gone out with the new one Because I want to do it being free and not guilty.. we've just talked, I wanna do things right. I wanna be happy, I wanna be with someone who makes me want to be the best me I could possibly be, I want someone who can make me grow, who stimulates me intellectually, who makes me feel like stupid happy.. this guy does it and he (bf) just doesn't do it for me, I've always been scared of letting him go known I could be left alone with no one to turn to...

Updates:
Help... am I a bad person for talking to the new guy but holding on to the other one? Have I become a cheater? I know what I want//need to do but I don't know how to do it...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't see how you think you're cheating at all, unless you believe in 'emotional cheating', and nah it's not your fault, you can't really pick and choose who you like, it just happens. So if you said something like to me, I'd understand and have done in the past... In saying that, almost no guy is like me, they'd get all defensive and whiney about it mostly... I'd just be blunt about it, sorry, but lately I've had feelings for someone else... I haven't acted on them, butI fear that I would in the future.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

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What Guys Said 2

  • Tell the first guy your done. You didn't want to do this no commitment thing anymore.

    Honestly, just be honest. You don't need to make up an excuse for it. You aren't feeling it with him anymore so tell him the truth

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  • Well it definitely sounds like the on and off guy isn't the one. No matter if you've met someone else or not you should just let him go if he doesn't make you happy. Take what you know about the new guy with a grain of salt, men will say many things, and pretend to be a certain way to get what they want. I've been in quite a few relationships 2 lasting over a year and 2 lasting over two years, I can tell you for sure no matter how perfect someone seems in the beginning, nobody is themselves in the beginning of a relationship. You're not a bad person for this, the guy hasn't even committed to you, so talking to another guy is not cheating. The best thing to do would be just tell the first guy you're not interested anymore, and not even mention the other guy. Unless you really want to tell him because you hope he takes it badly.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Have you and your "bf" ever talked about being exclusive?

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  • I think it's horrible for someone to set aside theyre wants and needs for some one elses.

    Who's not giving them theyre 100 %.

    That alone is worst than anything.

    Cause oppose to you walking away while there's no resentment, don't stay and wait for things to get worst. You don't need that excuse to be done. He doesn't make you happy, you two only share a physical connection if that. I tell you what sense he's not willing to change or won't that's fine..let him find someone who wants that..u want more. People grow a part it's OK. Cause I tell you what, if the shoe was on the other foot, they would leave and not look back. Life is to short. You need to be happy too. Not just getting by, because he managed to make you feel guilty because you want more. I would leave him. You guys had Ur time and now it's over. ...accept that and go find something more meaningful. :-)

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    • I know I've longed for a relationship that I could share everything with, to want to know what we are rather than not having a clue... being on and off has became exhausting to deal with, I do care about him but he no longer makes me happy like it can't say I'm happy just like stuck, like putting a show and tell myself I'm happy, but when I met this guy , like I can honestly say I'm smiling bcus its the only thing I can do that feels so right, I feel alive

    • :-). I know the feeling, I also know things are not as cut an dry as we would like too.

      Take your time understand your feelings and put it in a perspective..that your not leaving him fir someone else at the moment, your leaving cause he doesn't make you happy..i wouldn't tell him I'm leaving him for someone else. Certain things goes without saying. Just tell him its not working for you right now. And go. No need to add insult..u know.?. Ull be fine, trust me. :-)

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