She has a long distance boyfriend, but is with me almost everyday. What to do?

Please forgive me, as though this may be a very long post.

I had started working at this place about 3 months ago, while I was just about my business and such, a month later I noticed this girl. We started going out to lunch everyday, happy hours, went to Hockey, baseball games. After a couple weeks into it I find out she has a boyfriend who lives about 2-3 hours out and she sees him about once a week, they also only have started dating for about a month before I showed up. Anyway I brushed it off as a "we are friends, I like your company no big deal". But as we spent more time together obviously feelings grew and same with hers.

We started getting closer and closer and this showed by the constant flirting and sexual innuendos. We started hanging out more, talking more, inside/outside of work, work out together every morning. So at this point I am thinking we are going to get it going (dating, I will not just hook up with her, at my stage in life I do not waste my time with that college crap).

Now fast forward, we are closer yet we get in little bickering matches where one says something the other does not like and we get in a disagreement and than make up and go out. Just a couple weeks ago, we made plans and purchased a trip to Cabo together. Yet I told her that I will not go unless she is 1. Single, or 2. with me (for obvious reasons, as she knows what will happen).

Now with our arguments she will go and say "I am done" and than come right back. "I want you, but we work together" which I understand. Just today she is going on a family trip and said "I have a lot to think about and I need space to figure it out". I oblige and tell her to have fun, than I texted her a little later with a simple question "how is the drive" and she goes off again.

I am all for space and stuff, but what the hell gives? what's my next move?


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  • Why are you messing with women who have boyfriends with full knowledge of it? I thought you were OVER THE COLLEGE CRAP.


    • You know I have not done anything sexual with her...I do enjoy her company, and to be honest I can not help that. I do not think this guy is the "one" for her considering what she says and does with me.

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    • She tells me she wants me and likes but says she is afraid

    • Not your problem. It's her choice. She needs to buck up and be the woman you want her to be. If she refuses to make that choice and dawdles here what will happen in the future when other big decisions come up? If anything this is your red flag; she has you, but she has this guy, and she can't choose. Do you REALLY want to be in that daytime drama? Look, you can revert to the college nonsense, that's fine, I'm not trying to stop you but so long as you can live with what you're doing ...

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