With all of this equality nowadays why do women still want the guy to make the first move?

Women swear that they are equal to men, but when it comes to making the first move, they won't want no parts of that equality Women only want equality when it comes to money or power I know some women will make lame excuses like "I've tried to talk to guys and they were turned off by me making the 1st move." If a guy is "turned off" by a girl asking him out, he is GAY Another lame excuse I've heard is that it makes the girl "look like a slut" What? so what does that make guys?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think anyone who is interested should make a move WITHOUT being condemned for it for any reason.

    and if someone is not interested they should just be civil and say no thank you.

    way too much bs and melod rama over who says what to who when. it isn't like this in all other places in the world, yet the people cling to the idea of persuing makes the man a man...and its absurd childish and embarrassing, imo.

    • I agree with you. When someone gets asked out there should just be a polites yes or no response in return no matter whether if it's a girl asking a guy out or vice versa. If there wasn't so much childish slandering and name calling or making things weird afterward maybe more people who ask others out.

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    • Finally a logical answer.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Equality means equality in civil rights, employment & wages, education...and bunch of other issues, not on a personal level. Equality means that we should both be looked at as human being in every field, not as male, and female.

    Biologically, we're not equal and we can never be, I can carry a baby, you can't. You're biologically stronger, I can never be as strong as you are, my genes lack your strength. You're driven by testosterone, which makes sexuality a priority for you, I'm driven by emotions, my priority. I nurture offsprings, you protect them, we have different role that are dictated by our biology...Etc...

    As a girl,you are my protector, my safety net due to your biological strength. You're the leader because you have better visuospatial skills, you're the aggressor because your hormones says you are, which is why YOU ask out. My system is attracted to the aggressor in you, and in return I have the physique that attracts you, then I can provide you the love and care that will feed your will to protect me. I'm a multitasker because I need to satisfy offsprings needs...

    It's a huge topic, but this is the evolutionary, biological point of view. and we can''t exchange role, or biology does not support such an exchange.

    • Yeah whatever . There's women on this planet who are physically stronger than some men. There's even females that are bodyguards so what do you have to say about that? And I ask you out because you don't want to share the possibilty of rejection like I do which makes you antisociable something that women have been getting away with forever. And REAL Women are attracted to guys and will sometimes take on the role of the pursuer which all that guys are asking for .

    • may be 10% of women are stronger than men , yes. but 90% of men are stronger.

      yes some women will ask men out. but majority of men ask out.

      I've never asked a guy out at least not yet, because I'm too shy, but I would tell a guy that I like him.

      ALL I'm saying is that social equality has nothing to do with the fact that we're are 2 different genders with different capacities.

    • Your argument then says that men should be paid more, earn more, be in the position of leadership and all. You want me to provide for you, protect you, be a leader etc yet want my same job career etc etc? You kidding me? You want the priviledges without the responsiility innit. You are cherry picking. Life's good like that isn't it.

  • WTF?!

    If you want to date someone, YOU need to make the first move. If not, shut up and stop blaming others because you're too lazy to do it.

    People will make the first move when they set their sights on people, this has NOTHING to do with gender. Also, basing whether or not women want equality base on obligating your crush to ask you out, it very very very sad.

    • I still make the FIRST move but I do have a problem with WOMEN who want equality but only on their terms ... If you want equality, you should be able to accept it across the board not just parts you like.

  • It isn't right. It's more comfortable and convenient for us that way. We have the upper hand in this situation, so why would we complain about it or question it? It's natural. Men have done it for ages about different things, as well as women.

    I'm not in any way suggesting this is how things should be, but you asked why and that's the reason. Because it's more convenient for us. I don't think the majority of women have consciously thought about it, though.

    • i don't think its at all convenient. you're giving someone else control over your dating life. you say yes or no but you have to wait for them to approach. I definitely prefer acting on my own behalf than waiting around which feels retarded to me. so maybe you like it but not everyone does. itsa bad habit to gt into imio.. waiting/ expecting other people to act for you.

    • I mean convenient in the sense that it appeals to the average person's fear of rejection. And I'm speaking for the general female population. You are the exception. Neato for you, lol. I just meant that a lot of girls are afraid of rejection, and since they don't really HAVE to make the first move most of the time, it's more comfortable for them to not do it.

    • And a lot of girls (since guys are always "supposed" to make the first move) assume that a guy will approach them first if he's interested, and it must mean he's not interested if he's not showing it.

  • so wait,you're aware of the double standard that guys ''have to'' (they don't) ask out girls,but you're not aware of the double standard of girls being called slut for EVERYTHING? how 'bout that hypocrisy.

    some women approach men,some don't-it's their choice and they don't have to do anything-that's what equality is-you get to choose what you do. you don't have to ask anyone out-if you want to go out with someone-you do. if someone wants something,no matter the gender,they have to make an effort.

    • No I'm not calling girls sluts. That's one of the LAME excuses women use to get out of making the first move

    • first of all,i didn't say you were calling them sluts,it's just that girls get called sluts when they approach-you obviously just ignore that in favor of making men out to be victims. no one has to make the first move if they don't want to and they don't need an excuse.

  • i have never heard of either of those excuses to be perfectly honest. I also believe in most cases equal rights is complete bull, if a woman can't do the work the employer shouldn't be forced to put a woman on his team just because he doesn't want to look sexist.

    i have made the first move and had no issues with it. so I don't really get this question.

  • The guy always has to make the first move simply cause it is sexy. Stop making lame excuses and guys YOU go and make the first move...we'll follow

    • If women quit claiming that they're equal to me I will never expect them to make a first move .

  • I think it depends on how the girl makes the first move. That will determine if she is a slut. It is nice for the guy to make the first move. Its just the gentlemen-like thing to do.

    • Then why would a woman swear that she's equal to a man? If women would accept that they're not equal to a man, then I wouldn't be having this debate.

  • i do say hi even to stranger guy. specially when I caught them looking at me. just for respect.. I don't found it slut, but friendly..

  • Well if a girl is confidant within herself she will make a first move. But if a girl is making the first move I bet you she ain't really looking for anything apart for sex. If you want that get a hooker since they make all the first moves. And I don't think you get that even with equality, woman and men are still very different. Beside it is equal since there are girls that make the first moves and I don't think the reason girls want the guys to chase them I because they love the flattery not purely because of the guy.

    I think it is something like 'A key that can open any door is priceless, A door that be opened by any key is useless' Men are the key and Woman are the door.

  • 1. Fear of rejection

    2. Fear of being called a slut

    • I can understand the fear of rejection but I still don't see anything slutty about saying hello to someone. Would you just assume a guy is horny if he walked up and said hello to you?

    • you wouldn't want to date a guy who thought you were a slut so that's a sully reason. and fear of rejection lessens the more you go through it. thatssilly too. there's really no good reason to wait around for anything in life, imo.

    • @Guyoverthere, boys only talk to a girl they are interested in sexually

      @toulouse, yeah I'm talking upon approaching. I hear all the time about how a girl is labeled a slut for having the balls to approach a dude

What Guys Said 7

  • There are mature women who make the first move, offer to pay for dates, and so on. But that doesn't mean guys should not make the first move anymore.

    But many girls still distort of "chivalry" and try to use it as a way to gold dig and expect guys to make the first move, pay for dates, and so on. These girls are honestly not worth any guy's time and just wish to be purchased and call it a date. These types of girls are the ones who mess up the equality.

    A lot of these gender roles have to do with improper parenting though. Parents of a boy will teach their son to go out and get what he wants. But parents of a girl will tell their daughter to wait and that the right guy will come along.

    If a girl tells me that a guy absolutely has to make the first move, that's a red flag to me and tells me that she most likely has nothing to contribute to a relationship.

  • Male AU said it best -

    Women are hypocrites through and through... women want equality only when it benefits them... any other time? NO WAY.

  • I guess why bother doing something you don't have to do?

  • I feel bad for them in a way.

    Because for men getting told no when you first approach it could be a billion reasons why she "rejected" you.

    For women, everyone knows why she's being rejected.

    Shes being rejected because she's ugly.

    And she has to accept that.

    There isn't a guy alive that is going to turn down a woman whos at least remotely attractive on the first approach. I don't care if he's having a bad day or whatever.

    Ive seen women turn down men who make Channing tatum look like a pile of vomit.

    So that's one issue

    Think about walking up to a woman with your entire bank statement attached to your forehead.

    Then youd know what its like.

    • Also Hot women get approached all the time. Almost exclusively by drunks or losers they don't want. And because they are getting approached all the time they feel like they don't need to approach. When if they did they could actually go after the guys that would treat them better who isn't approaching her.

      But instead she enjoys complaining about how there are no good men.

      So that covers the women that KNOW they are hot.

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    • "you don't know men at all. even on this site there's plenty of guys who reject a woman just because she asked and he wants to do the persuing. or if she's persuing it means there's something wrong with her especially if she's hot."

      They're lying. People do that.

      Im 100% POSITIVE that if their favorite female celebrity (WHO THEY REALLY DON'T KNOW)

      came up to them and asked them out, they'd date them.

    • NO man, and I do mean NO MAN would turn down a woman like Megan fox simply because she was hot and asked him out.

      If you think so, you have brain damage.

      There are certain things people can say that are blanket statements that are true. THIS happens to be one of them.

      You have no idea what you are talking about, so don't even try.

  • Because women don't really want equality...they want choices. They want what they want. If you pay attention you will notice the following:

    - In instances when women perceive they are at a disadvantage, they use the word "equality".

    - When women are at an advantage and are trying to justify it, they use the word "choice".

    The bottom line is that women are hypocrites.

  • Because they want equality only when they think it will benefit them, though ironically, for example, the change in attitudes toward sex in the 1960s benefited men.

  • Gender roles bro. Never going away.


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