My ex and I broke up 1week ago. We were together in a serious relationship for 8 months and together every day. He was divorced for 4 months before we met and got into a relationship. His ex wife cheated on him with his ex best friend. My ex before him cheated on me leading to a broken engagement. We quickly developed a strong bond and connection talking non stop for hours day or night. I was there for him when he would wake up in the middle of the night upset sweating saying it hurt so bad. I helped him paint his house, watered his yard when he was away, cooked all the meals and cleaned his house. He said he loved me. He pressed for a serious relationship our parents met each other. He asked me if I would have his kids. He planned our budget, said he would move in with me if my parents were okay with that (they don't believe in living together before marriage) and he didn't want to disrespect them. A month ago, coinciding with the one year anniversary of the downfall of his marriage, he started treating me different, was moody didn't want to leave the house, spent all his time drinking or on online poker. He was snappy with me and started being rude like telling me my new shoes were the ugliest or duh when I asked if we were on the right road. I thought he was getting through this hard symbolic time from last year. Last week, I filled up his car tank full of gas because he needed my car and left me his his car in empty. I picked up his favorite steaks and bought a bunch of groceries he wanted . Came home all happy where he ignored me. I did the dishes and laundry. Sat down on the couch where he ignored my presence while talking on the phone. When I called him in it, he denied doing anything wrong. He said that he was feeling pressured for the next steps like moving in together and wasn't ready for that with anyone. I reminded him that he is the one that pushed or that and brought up moving our relationship forward with marriage and kids. He said he knew. Then he said he had mixed feelings. He said that his feelings aren't good and he doesn't see us making it long term. He didn't know why. He said he didn't know did sure we wouldn't make it but didn't think we would he felt it was better to break up now at 8 mths rather than a year. He said I do love you though. I got up and left immediately saying I knew he wasn't the man that deserved me if he was willing to let me go. He then tried to stop me from leaving. Last thing he said was he felt he was making the biggest mistake of his life. I left. I blocked him from calling or texting me. I feel used and angry. I can't make sense of him, was it all a lie? I know it doesn't matter now that he has treated me this way, but still bothers. Please give me some understanding.
Most Helpful Guy
Well for me it looks like, you were his rebound girl? I mean kinda suck but yea seems most like it. So while you were pretty much feeling up the void left by his wife, he went on with very huge plans. To feel everything fine and stuff and when the intial remorse and pain had gone. The reality of things set in and well,led to this. So as much I wouldn't tell it was a lie. It was more of a impulsive act.
There is nothing nice about being the rebound person. Only thing you can do is especially if you, yourself just left a relationship give yourself time to be on your own. With at best parents and friends before heading in to another relationship.
So you did the right action. It isn't going to work out if he hadn't gotten over his wife and especially after showing that acts on impulse. I mean to be fair to him he was down but still it wouldn't have led to anything better. So you did the right thing for you and for him too. He needs healing, can't be done by taking you as a replacement for his wife. Not going to work, so yea you did the right thing.
Give yourself some time too and if you do choose to return back to him. That is your choice. If you don't, then in your next one. Go slow and if the other party rushes, sit them down talk clearly to them to set everything straight if they are serious and all.
Just saying what I think. I am just 20 ><" . This is at best I could think. Hope I could help.0