Ex girlfriend broke no contact. don't know what to do or say.

So, my on and off ex boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me in January 2013. And like most guys, I begged and pleaded her to take me back. When I realized that wasn't working I decided to lay off on talking to her to give her space. I would text her a couple times a week just to see how she was doing.

The month of April came, and while I was trying to meet up with her (we met up once before after we broke up) she told me she was seeing someone else and that me and her are nothing (relationship and friendship wise) and that I need to leave her alone.

I granted her request and I left her alone. Since then, I have not had the urge to call, text, fb msg, email, and check out all her social media sites. I have found out that she started dating the guy that she dated before me. It is now August, and while I was at a concert last night I get a text from her saying, "Hey- just wanted to say hello and see how you are doing since we haven't spoken in a while. Hope everything's going well. I don't hate you or dislike you so maybe at some point we can eventually be friends if you'd like."

When I read this I was shocked and speechless. She was the last person I expected to text me. I have no idea what to say to that. I have moved on with my life and I stopped thinking about her. So I'm looking for advice on how I should go about this. Should I continue with the no contact or just wait til it sets in? I also have no idea what to say and if I do respond, I'll need a couple days to figure out what I want to say.
In first sentence it should be ex girlfriend, not boyfriend. Haha


Most Helpful Girl

  • Why would she hate you if she was the one who broke up with you?! You're the one who was hurt - not her. It should be up to you whether to do be mad or not. It sounds like she's trying to give you a pity bone...don't take it!

    You've moved on. There's nothing to be gained from talking to her anymore. You can';t be friends again, and relationships suck if you've ever broken up at least once...so the on and off thing makes it very unlikely this would ever work out.

    It's nice she contacted you. You can bask in the ego boost, but don't be too worried about what to say.

    You don't have to say anything. "At some point we can EVENTUALLY be friends if you'd like"? What the heck does that mean! Either she's coming back to ask to be friends again because she misses you, or she leaves you alone. She's trying to get an ego boost from you if you say that you want to be friends so she can tell you not yet.

    If you want to say anything, be polite but curt. Say something along the lines of:

    "Thanks for the text. Hmm I don't know what "eventually" means. Well if/when 'eventually' ever becomes 'now', great - feel free to hit me up! Otherwise, don't feel obligated lolz. Hate? Hah well I do usually interview my prospective friends with whether they hate me or not...o.O If you want something let me know, but sorry I'm genuinely sorta confused :/


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • She's only contacting you because she isn't getting the attention that she used to get when you guys first broke up. Don't even bother responding. And if if you absolutely HAVE to respond, text back and say "I've been good, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't contact me ever again. Hope you've been good too." Then leave it at that.


What Guys Said 2

  • Only contact her if you want her back in your life? Id want to know if she's still seeing other dude. If not maybe she wants more than friendship. She could have been thinking about you this whole time.

  • Don't say anything. If you have to think about what to say, you're going to say something stupid. Just delete that message and forget about it.


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