What should I do? Should I tell him that we can't remain friends due to his returning relationship?

Recently, I've had a "friendship" with a man who is 7 years my senior (21 and 28). Things started changing and it seemed like we liked each other. This was the span of a month or more. There wasn't a week I didn't see him or talk to him. But the signs were obvious that even my mom noticed (she's very observant).

He initiated conversation first when we met, he had a pet name for me and wanted me to make one for him (he chose one that was cutesy that you would only say in a relationship), he would always say this is bringing us closer together, every time we would act something out for fun he would say pretend you're my girlfriend, planning our next outings, hand games,touching me any chance he got, tickling me, inviting me over to watch movies, going out and late last Friday night to a movie first time he paid, staying out til 3 am laughing and having fun together, look at art together, he calls me pretty much everyday, has the pet name he gave me in his phone, he would eat off my fork, tell me his inspirations,hurt, we were always alone when we went out,we saw each other every week, taking pictures together and of me, dancing together alone, never mention girls to me or want to hear about guys from me, he would ask me what I want in a man, want to know who I am, telling each other about our family, liking pictures and statuses on fb,we made plans to see each other and do crazy stuff THIS WEEK, describing what he wants in a woman seemed like me (trustworthy and open minded is what he said) and vice versa, asking me to star as his love interest in his music video etc. He would tell me that he liked my qualities that I'm family oriented, likes to cook, etc. The list goes on... Yesterday we talk as usual and we are laughing and joking talking about his day, etc. He tells me that he suddenly is going back to his ex. I felt so hurt but I had to be happy for him. He told me that he feels apprehensive about dating someone in the same field as he is (which they both do music). I cried myself to sleep. I always heard people say that you become friends first before any great relationship and it felt that it was going there. But I guess he LIKED me but LOVED her. I can't compete with HISTORY. I don't understand why he would go through that with someone that broke up with him on New years eve.

I became a better woman around him, I supported him, listened, improved qualities he liked like cooking.

Today, he texts me in the morning (I haven't responded) and is still playing online scrabble with me right now. Though there will be boundaries; like our movie nights are probably gone. I think he knows that I am hurt. But what should I do? Should I just leave without explanation? Not respond to him. Or was I delusional to think we were more than friends?


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What Guys Said 1

  • First of all I feel really sorry for you OK my heart goes out to you. Now I think he likes you but keep things on a normal pace with him and see where it leads to.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm so sorry that happened to you. If I were you I would have guessed he liked me too, so no you're not delusional. I think that maybe you should separate yourself from him a little. You can still be friends but it might be a little awkward. Things obviously aren't going to be like they used too, so I think before you guys do anything together you should probably wait until you are no longer sad about the situation and have accepted the fact that you guys are just friends. Which is not an easy thing to do. But on the bright side you said you became a better woman so now you can be better for someone that actually wants to be with you. Again I'm really sorry.

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