Why does he keep me around? Did he catch feelings?

So, I've been talking off and on with this guy for 8 years. When were talking we become sexually active.

But 5 years ago I moved to a different state. But get this, we still keep in contact.

I travel back to visit my family and we are sure to see each other, and we hook up.

He's really caring and respectful towards me. At first they were meaningless hook ups, buy now he likes me to stay the night, calls

me beautiful and all that good stuff.

We really like to poke fun at each other, put we can also talk feelings to each other and vent about life problems. We also play an online game together so that is a nice common ground.

He's told me he gets with other girls but I'm the special one he keeps coming back to.

I'll admit, I've have a major crush for 8 years.. But I'm able to suppress it. I wonder if he's doing the same.

If I moved back would he want to take thinks further?

What do you guys think? Why do you think he keeps me around considering we only hook up now about twice a year, the rest of the time we're talking online/through games.

Thank you :))


Most Helpful Guy

  • Alright, I'm going to keep it really simple...nothing will continue with you two. Think of it from his view. Not only does he have a good friend who he can play online games, laugh with, talk too but he's getting in the pants to! In his mind he is where he wants to be, as far as he knows- your happy, and he's definitely happy. He told you he hooks up with other girls - stop there. The fact that he is with other girls is him being honest and saying your just one out of X number of girls. He comes back to you not because your special, but because your available. Do you see the difference?

    Think of it visually this way: Your rich, you've been rich for 8 years, getting everything you want; your happy, your satisfied, nothing to stress about. But suddenly the bank takes everything from you and saying they want you to be more serious about your money, and more committed to your "job" ...of course your not going to want to change life right?

    To your question, if you've moved back, I still believe you would simply be available and not a consideration to being serious. I hope this helps.

    • I think he tries other girls because I'm not there 24/7 and since I'm not an option 49 weeks out of the year.

    • So you believe he will stop all his habits because you move back?

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Do you want to be used as an option ?

    Many girls somehow believe that if they put up with a guy's bad behavior long enough(like you are going back with him every time you visit your state in spite he is sleeping with other girls in the meantime), that he will eventually see how much she loves him, and will love and respect her equally in return. Unfortunately, this is a totally misguided notion.

    Most guys want a fun, self-confident girl, who respects herself, and who doesn't need him to have a good time. Once a guy knows you can't live without him, and will put up with any selfish or bad behavior he dishes out, your chances of keeping him challenged and interested in you goes right out the window.

    Not only should you respect other people, but you should demand the same degree of respect for yourself. You should never put up with any kind disrespect from anyone, especially a person you are in a relationship with. You will have a much better chance of keeping a guy interested in you if you stand up yourself, than if you allow him to walk all over you.

    Just remember that there are 4 billion guys on the planet. If the guy you are with starts displaying negative, or disrespective behavior towards you, be willing to walk away. If you do, it's very possible he will chase after you with new found respect. A respect he will never have for you if you can't respect yourself enough to leave.

    hope this helped :)

  • Both of you are probably lonely, and you may be the only person he can talk to and open up about his feelings with. I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case.

    Sure, if you moved back, you'd be a couple, no doubt about it. I can't tell you if you could last together, though, since you decided to move away..and he didn't think about going with you.

    • When I was younger we didn't talk continuously. He tells me if we could go back in time he would've stopped me from leaving. I tell him I wouldn't have left if someone asked me to stay & me saying that makes him feel bad.

      There's no reason he can't find another girl to connect with. He's not tied down.

      es attempts others but just because he's bored. It makes me wonder what he'd be like if I were there 24/7.. If he would give up on other girls.

    • There aren't many girls in his life he can really open up to, in all likelihood. You're probably the ol=nly one. Sure he can date other girls, but the bimbo index is so high..

  • sounds like he is only using you as back-up


What Girls Said 1

  • I wouldn't get my hopes up. I've been 'friends' with this guy who I have major feelings for, and he did too, but we still dated other people and we have been talking all throughout high school. Just a month ago, he breaks up with his girlfriend, and I got my hopes up when he told me he misses me. His best friend told me that he admitted at the gym to a dozen people that I am his back up. link