After being in a relationship that's steady and serious for a while, at least 2 years, does it make sense to freak out that maybe you've lost yourself along the way? Maybe those two years were a long honeymoon and you come back to reality only to realize you stopped pursuing hobbies and working out, making friends and keeping in touch with old ones. If both of you love each other and see a future together, how do you restore individuality? Through space? And would it not be hard to give space and take space after 2 years of being practically joined at the hip? (Assuming we don't live together but spend most of the weeknights and weekends together when we are not working or studying). Any advice would help, I need some light shed on this to better understand why space would be good because part of me fears it. I fear it will drive us apart rather than bring us together?
Most Helpful Girl
If you're happy in the relationship and just want to re-connect with some of your favorite people/activities, then that is a very healthy thing to do and could actually improve your relationship over the long run. It's not like you need to spend entire days or weeks apart from your SO- just make the effort to call up friends you haven't seen in awhile, ask them to meet you for lunch/dinner/whatever, and spend a few hours just catching up. You can always go back home to the boyfriend at the end of the night, if you want to. The thing is, healthy and happy couples *want* to be independent of each other... if you have trust, honesty, and a real desire to make each others' lives *better*, then it's important to be your own person and have your own life. Sometimes spending a few hours apart can just reinforce the love you have for each other, anyway!
It's scary to realize how committed and dependent you've become on another person, even if you're actually happy and things are going well. I know all too well how easy it is to get lost in an amazing relationship, believe me, but it's equally easy to re-connect with your old life and bring everything together as a whole.