How can I break this cycle?

I'm over 30 and I never had a girlfriend . I've tried everything under the sun And I mean EVERYTHING. I need to break this cycle so I can move on. I have to face the fact that I will never be able to get a woman. I've been able to come up with a formula for my problem and hear it is.

1. Stop talking to women (except ones that's family) at all costs .

2. Never try to pursue or even befriend a woman regardless of the situation

3. Avoid as much interaction with women as possible

4. Pretend that they're invisible

I do these things for months and then I F up and break the cycle.

Been looking for some way to keep the cycle going . I used to be angry, and down that women weren't attracted to me but now I could careless. When I use this formula I feel at peace , but then I break the cycle and set myself up for nothing but disappointment and wasted time. So how do I break this cycle? I think if I don't break this cycle, I will go insane . I have hobbies , but men are brainwashed that they need a mate to make their life complete even though the same results are not typical for every man and EXPERIENCES VARY 2 words that men who are successful with women JUST don't understand. Anyone can state their opinion on this topic, but I rather hear from those who are walking in my shoes right now because only those who have walked in my shoes and continue to walk in those shoes understand what I'm going through. So anyone out there with any suggestions on how to break this cycle I would be forever grateful if you can share them with me.
I work out, I approached unattractive, fat, skinny etc women never just tried to pursue a certain woman , I've went out to just about any place trying to talk to women . Luck has a bigger role in dating than people will admit especially those who've had any type of success with women.


Most Helpful Guy

  • i'd attend a David Wygant boot camp if I were you


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What Girls Said 1

  • Why are you trying to avoid them though? Why not just be friendly? If nothing happens then it doesn't, right?


What Guys Said 3

  • Im going to start by saying I am not a male who struggles too much with women but I do believe I have good advice for you that I have helped some of my friends out with. so there is no possible way you've tried everything under the sun. But that all hope is not lost :)! I have friends who are horrible with women, not the most fit, smart or attractive guys out there yet the land themselves some great women. I'm not going to out and say the ladies they get are Hot amazing supermodel money making amazing women but they are on the same level as those friends. There is always room for self improvement no matter how great anyone is. Whether it be learning something new or even hittin the o'l gym to pump some iron and burn some fat. I believe You have to be comfortable in your own skin before you can accept someone else fully in your life. Try learning some good cooking techniques and hittin a dating site. Go on a first date somewhere like a resistant and start talking about interests. Tell her how you've started to take cooking lessons for example and how you think you could make a meal equal to or better than the restaurant you are at, maybe at the end of the date you can invite her over and cook together for a second date.

    The thing about women man is even someone who's good with women could go on 10,15 even 20 dates and still not have a girlfriend out of it, it's all about compatibility! I have faith in you that you can find yourself a wonderful lady who you'll be happy with. Dating is a struggle that millions upon millions of people have, you're not abnormal. I know you say you could care less about women at this point but I feel that if that were the case you wouldn't be posting on here ;) and trust me pretending they are invisible will not help at all. TRUST ME when I say work on yourself, women love men who are sure of themselves and who can be a solid person when they need you. Things like working out are great because its good for you, gets you out of the house and all around makes you feel like you're accomplishing more and feel better about yourself.

    You're 30, you've got the rest of your life ahead of you. Just keep trying, sure you'll run into some barriers here and there but they're nothing you can't get past. Stick with the search for women and I promise you you'll be happy you did. Keep thinking about that one day you run into the perfect women and things just click, you both can hardly stand to be away from one another. You talk all day everyday, send cute texts. Maybe hit the gym together or play video games together, cook together! Whatever your passions are! I believe in you dude, the same way I believe in my other friends. Get out there and don't give up! Cheers mate :)

  • I think TeamNiceGuy hit the nail on the head. But I'll just add a bit.

    Since all mating behavior is theoretically in pursuit of species propagation (even though we both know that nobodys trying to have kids here), there are basically 2 models of mating behavior. The 'sow wild oats' model ensures high probability based on having many different partners and at least one working out. The 'potted plant' model ensures high probability of success by devoting much of one's resources (TLC) into one specific partner. Pick one and stick with it man

  • Your formula is pointless. You're just wasting time. Depriving yourself of happiness and a future. I'm 31, and never had a serious girlfriend. Yes, I see guys who are lost unattractive jerks that get women. The difference is...those guys don't see themselves as lost unattractive jerks...instead they believe they're God's gift to women. Until you're able to feel good about yourself on the inside, you're never going to be able to fool a woman about how you feel on the inside. They will see right through you.

    It's okay to have bad thoughts...but its not okay to speak them, or write them down. Use these thoughts as motivation to get yourself in the best condition you can, both mentally and physically. When a successful person finally makes it to the top of the mountain, they look down and realize the mountain is made up of all of their past failures.

    The one good thing that popped out at me in your story is when you said that now you could care less if a woman wasn't attracted to you .If you can keep that care less attitude when approaching women you're interested in, you will be way ahead of most of your competition.

    But, first, you need to care enough to start liking yourself. Whatever that means to you...losing weight...building muscle...getting a new hair style etc etc. Life isn't going to come to you, and knock on your door. Neither is a hot girl. This is your life, your opportunity to make what YOU want out of life. Right now, you're the only one stand in your way. Get rid of that old guy...those old thoughts,and start pursuing a new you, with new thoughts. Remember this. Thoughts become words, and words become actions. Actions become successes and failures. Once you experience enough successes and failures you will reach the GOALS that you want. Just never give up!

    • I do workout (never been overweight in my life)and I do display confidence, You still have to look attractive to women and if you don't you don't. You're one of those who think that everyone is going to have the same life experience and if they don't, they 100% at fault. You make it seem like just because a person works hard, that they will be rewarded (tell that to those Chinese I phone makers) If hard work alone guaranteed success it would be a lot more rich, famous, people.

    • Show All
    • You have your experiences and I have mine. What makes you think that I gave up the very first time I got rejected? I've approached hundreds of women , took advice you name it I've done it. I didn't come to my recent conclusion overnight, if that's what you think . From what you said you have never walked in my shoes because you have had some success with women so I don't expect you to be able to relate to anyway so I take it that you are just going off of your own EXPERIENCE.

    • I was once where you are now. I ignored women starting from about the 7th grade until I was 27. Big mistake on my part. I had no map. I had no compass. All I had was bad advice from the so called experts, our culture, hollywood, which was all wrong. That was until I bought the book, The System. Right now, you are not of the frame of mind to be asking girls out. Why? Because, you wouldn't date yourself right now. Until you will date yourself, you don't need to be approaching women.

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