I know she likes me after a long period of time but says I'm too predictable

Hey everyone and anyone this is my situation.

I just turned 23 and have been seeing this girl off and on for what feels like forever. To place my complicated soap opera in this small window would be impossible. Long story short I fell in love with this girl when I was 15 when I met her. We were on and off for 4 years (no relationship title but all of the benefits) She always left for another guy and when everything was good she would leave and then when things went bad she always came back until at one point I had, had enough and told her I never wanted to see her again.

Unfortunately that was the farthest thing from the truth because I'm going to marry this girl no matter what, its going to happen.

Now I didn't talk to her for 3 years and we reconnected about 6 months ago and things have been amazing and better than they've ever been before. We're together.. sort of, but its so annoying because I don't know where I stand from day to day.

This is the issue I have never EVER been told I was boring or predictable ever before. I'm normally the opposite, very fun to hang out with and talk to. I can be a little rough with the way I present myself but I'm far from a jerk, and I might not be the best looking guy in town but I don't think I'm ugly either. The issue is we both work a LOT and trying to develop something serious has been tough due to time but all things considered her and I have been putting as much effort as possible into establishing something.

This is my issue, she has told me 2x I'm super predictable and other than my texts to her I have no idea what she's talking about. Every time we see each other we're doing something different. We like taking walks but we've never walked the same place twice. I've taken her on a mountain, to the city, and each and every time we hang out its a blast on both sides. The only thing that's the same is I text her good morning every morning and goodnight every night. The other issue is that I'm THERE. I mean I like it I want to be there, I want to spend time with her because we don't always get a chance, and tbh this girl has challenged me to grow so much but I can't understand how to be unpredictable after all of this time and what I can do?!

The other challenge is obviously she is unlike no other female. A normal girl you could buy flowers for or take her to dinner or some type of other motion that a normal girl would appreciate. She's not like that. She gets mad when I buy her things, she's very simple but so complicated at the same time. Other than turning into a complete moron (which would mean I would have to change myself and I don't plan on doing that) I don't know how to get her attracted to me. Any tips at all would be helpful, if I ignore her for a few days she goes off the deep end. So please ladies how do I combat boredom when she doesn't know what she wants? What can I say or do to bring spark back? I want her to love me first before being physical so we have something to fall back on


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What Girls Said 2

  • Wow! That is a great that you care about laying a solid foundation and not just going to the physical. Do you go places that she usually enjoys? Does she enjoy the club scene or anything else? Walks and going out like mentioned sounds good, the best part of those activities more than anything is just spending quality time with someone you love. has she explained what she meant by you are predictable as far as give you examples?

    You should ask her in a gentle way to explain. Keeping her personality in mind try to think of spontaneous things you can do, but don't tell her your plans try to keep it a surprise.Basically, if you are use to laying all of your cards on the table to the point where she can know what to expect next - this means you need to keep a mystery about some things, maybe surprise her more?

    I understand the gift thing. I do not always like gifts either. She does not like going out to dinner? DO you cook? How about one day you make a nice surprise dinner for her and the both have nice romantic dinner at home. Is she kind of a private person? Definitely remain true to yourself, I agree on that. Be You. She definitely sounds frustrated and confused. She almost sounds like the old me. Before that spark could return she is going to have some clarity within herself or the both of you will just keep yo-yo'ing back and forth. It is going to talk two people to make if you change, she also has to change.

    • Yea I agree with your last statement there because she even says she needs to figure out what she wants. She's not really a private person and she doesn't like going out to dinner. The both of us just appreciate time out together.

      I should ask her for examples but the only thing I can think that I do the same is my goodmorning/goodnight texts I don't always go to kiss her or anything like that so I'm at a loss for why she thinks the way she does...

  • Move on she's playing head games . What she means by you're too predictable reslly means "I know I've got you wrapped around my finger and it bores me. She's not ready to settle down . There's a billion girls out there find one who will appriciste you . I think you want her because she is rejecting you in a way . We all want what we can't have.

    • the question is can I change that predictability? or is it something I just have to let go and let her come back again? Because she will come back

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    • Other than giving her the cold shoulder maybe start making friends with other girls , maybe to try to pass the time until she decides to come around . Maybe she will get jealous And get afraid to lose you. I'm not saying lead others on or anything like that . Just maybe talk or text with other girls or go out and do things even , you don't have to have sex just be friends. Just get really busy with life and act like you don't have much time for her. If she calls cut the conversation short .

    • i've been doing that recently but this ignoring thing is killing me. She barely texted me last week and I haven't heard from her in the past couple days at all. I think she's seeing another guy as we had a problem with this a couple months back. I honestly am at a loss for what to do, I've bent over backwards for this girl and by not initiating any contact I feel like she doesn't care about me. Am I wrong for thinking this?

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