I've been really struggling lately and I'm hoping someone can help : /
So, my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and I love him a lot. About halfway into the relationship, I caught him sexting another girl while he was drunk. I broke up with him and stayed that way for a couple of weeks. He apologized profusely saying he was an idiot and didn't want to lose me.
I came back and caught him doing it again. I threatened to leave again, but he begged so I didn't. I told him that the only way I would stay is if he went to therapy. He said for whatever reasons he sometimes feels the need to get attention from other girls for "validation." So, we went to couples therapy for a few months.
Since then, he's changed tremendously. He doesn't get drunk like he used to, doesn't have his phone attached to his like before, and is way more attentive. I went to therapy myself for self esteem reasons (I felt pretty low about myself after what he did) and was feeling much better.
But lately, I can't shake the feeling that I made a mistake giving him those other chances. He's really changed, but I can't let it go. I know it wasn't physically cheating, but it felt like it. The betrayal is still there and I still can't totally trust him.
Before all of this happened, we moved in together and I could see myself spending my life with him. Since then, though, I feel like an idiot. He hasn't given me reason not to trust him recently, but part of me wonders if he really did change and if I'm being naive thinking he did.
I just don't know what to do..?
Most Helpful Guy
you gave him the chance, he's turning it around.
if you forgive you have to forgive 100%. understand that he's human and as a human is prone to making mistakes. but the true sign of maturity and devotion is honest (which him explaining his weakness) and then making the effort to fix himself (which is him going to therapy).
obviously breaking up with him now is totally your decision but he did what you asked so you probably need to cut him a break
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