When someone breaks up with you, is it really the truth or is it just candy-coated?

When someone breaks up with you, do they say something like "I'm really stressed out and can't handle a relationship right now" or something similar to that?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think in your example, it's usually sugar coated and they're trying to hide the real reason why they don't want to be with you. People like that appear immature to me and should just be honest.

    However, if someone says they don't want a relationship right now, that could be the truth and they feel that it's not their time to go into one for whatever reason. If they say something like they're really stressed out, that could be sugar coated. Stressed out by what? If they don't tell you, it's probably because you're the person who's stressed them out, they just can't be honest about it. Any excuse for not dating which doesn't quite add up, should probably be seen as sugar coated and you should accept that that person is too immature to tell the truth and so you're probably better of without them. :)

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What Girls Said 9

  • Well, a lot of people sugar coat things. I tried to break up with my last boyfriend in a sugar coated way, and some how we were still in a relationship, and then I dumped him for good by being more honest. I'd say, maybe they were sugar coating, maybe not, it really depends on the person. I, for one, am trying to be more blatantly honest.

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  • It's generally acceptable behavior to avoid or sugar-coat the real reason. Sometimes there are no words to describe the real reason and you can't really say life with you would be hell on earth.

    Sometimes it is just that they can't be doing the relationship thing right now. You'll get the truth if the truth doesn't hurt that much.

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  • i've always initiated the break up, or we both decided to do it- but that's not something I've ever said or had said to me. I'm honest about it- it doesn't feel right anymore. it doesn't feel the way it used to.

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  • Yes I hate when they give vague or bogus reasons. I much prefer the truth and I wish guys knew I can handle it lol.

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    • they are not vague or bullsh*tting because _you_cant handle it. its because they cant.

      no matter how many times people say they WANT the truth. everyone still keeps saying they have to lie because they are trying to be 'nice'. yes they are. to themselves.

    • well said toulouse

  • Yeah I think people sometimes lie about why they break up. I think some people are too afraid to say they aren't compatible anymore.

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  • Most people tend to give bogus, obvious lies as reasons when they decide to break off a relationship. "I'm stressed" is one of those lies.

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  • if I said that id mean it. I don't lie. because I don't like being lied to. and if I wasn't honest I could never expect anyone to be honest with me.

    but I don't see why id break up over stress unless that person wast he source., I might break up because I have absolutely no time to spend with them, or because I'm not good at seriously focusing on more than one important thing at once and work takes priority. or because I'm still sorting out my work. study/ training schedule etc.

    and id explain it. pat answers or talking in platitudes sucks because it sounds like bs. so even if your honest you sound like a d*** who thinks your partner isa coward. honesty is best committed thoroughly with only the best of intentions, imo.

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  • my ex said that to me, he was trying to sugar coat the whole break up, but I just told him everything he didn't want to hear (that he's a coward, and I know the real reasons and that it's as over as can be now)

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  • My last ex WAS stressed... but in many cases yes, it's a bogus reason.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Maybe they're just being honest! That isn't necessarily an excuse. A lot of people really ARE stressed!

    If they were just making up an excuse, it would be more on the order of "I just can't handle a relationship with anyone right now', or 'it's not you, it's me. I have to work through some issues.'

    And they won't tell you what those issues are..if there really were an issue they had to deal with, they'd tell you what it was and they'd want your help or advice.

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  • From personal experience it's either extremely sugar coated or super hurtful. Usually no grey area. I've had girl completely gut me with her words on the last break up. Depends on how spiteful, hate filled the person is.

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  • No one can ever tell the truth anymore for the basic fact that no one can accept the truth, ever. So yes, it is just a sugarcoated reason for letting you go.

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