My boyfriend told me he's losing interest and has been having thoughts about cheating...

My boyfriend andi have been together for a well rough year and two months we used to fight constantly and he used to leave me every other day basically leaving me broken hearted begging for him back and him coming back. It has stopped and he was diagnosed clinically depressed he gets this way when he smokes weed and he knows it but continues you to smoke weed and it hurts now he told me for a week now he's felt like he was losing interest and has been thinking bout cheating a lot lately. I love him with all my heart and have forgave him for horrible things over 30 times now andi just don't know what to do should I leave... If I can bring myself to leave?


Most Helpful Girl

  • i would leave personally, he changes his mind too often about you and you have to keep begging for him to come back to you. if he loved you he wouldn't do that depression or not and he would try to get off the weed to improve himself and your relationship

    it was good that he was honest but don't let that overshadow what he actually said, he wants to cheat on you! if he was decent he would have said he wants to leave you and find someone else not see someone else behind your back

    i know its going to sound mean and I'm not trying to be but it sounds like he doesn't want to be with you but is too chicken to admit it because youve kept clawing your way back until he gives in so he's trying to be as mean as possible to make you leave him. maybe that's why he's conintuing to smoke the weed to have a rubbish mood around you, telling you he doesn't have interest and wants to cheat, done 30 horrible things to you and fought with you constantly over your relationship leaving you every other day

    • It's not mean and I know I just don't have what it takes to leave and I have missed chances with so many astonishing ,en who want to treat me so well and love me but I couldn't let go of him and now I'm so confused

    • you deserve a hell of a lot better than him, believe in yourself :)

      you need to go cold turkey on this guy or you will end up going back to him, if you live together just clear out your things and go stay with your mum/a friend until you can get your own place and leave him a note. its not a great way to end things but itl be easier on you. delete his number, block all social media and focus on interesting activities that will tire you out and leave no time for thoughts of him

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What Guys Said 2

  • Ah, doormat girl. Well, you'll need to learn to set boundaries in your life. It sucks that he thinks of cheating, but on the upside at least he was honest about it.

    Without going through all the specific arguments you two have had, there is no simple and easy recommendation for repairing the relationship.

    I suspect there is a cycle of you putting up with things or not saying anything about them and just enduring - up until a certain point when you can't bear it any longer and then explode. Better sweat the small stuff.

    • This is completely true... harsh, but true :) He really sounds like a jerk, and as strangers answering your question, it's really difficult to understand why *anyone* would want to stay with a guy who can't even take care of himself and treats her so badly on top of it. Boundaries are a huge part of life and you *have* to learn to walk away from people who mistreat you, even if it's painful at the time.

    • haha brutal honesty. and serious truth.

  • If you can't bring yourself to leave I assume you mean?

    then prepare yourself for a future of this. tell him he needs to get help both regarding his depression and his clear addiction to marijuana (marijuana may not be physically addicting but clearly had a hold on him that negatively is affecting his life)

    I think you need to leave him. that's it. but since it seems you don't plan to the only thing I can say is grit and bear it. unless you are going to force him to change (which it doesn't sound like you are inclined to do) you're just going to have to deal with his moods

    but really try and understand that you deserve better. and he needs someone who is going to call him on his sh*t, lay down the line, and let him know when he is simply ruining himself (which is what his weed habit is doing)


What Girls Said 4

  • It honestly just sounds like a really unhealthy relationship. I'm assuming this is your first love, and it can be intense, passionate and mentally unhinging...

    I agree with Pedantic. It's harsh, but true. You have absolutely no reason to continue in this relationship except for your passionate emotions, which are irrational and illogical. He doesn't treat you well, he breaks up with you and you have to BEG him to come back to you.

    At the end of the day, it shows you are willing to give up your dignity in order to be with someone who doesn't want you. You don't want to be "that girl". Be strong, end it, and move on. It won't be easy, but it'll be worth it. You'll look back on your behavior in a few years and be embarrassed, and then thankful that you moved on.

  • Honestly just do it. force yourself to. If you don't stay with him, think of yourself that lame girlfriend who clings to the guy who doesn't really want her because she's afraid of the possibility of doing better

  • I would say... adios

    Don't waste your life on someone who mistreats you.

    • Yep. Time to kick his ass to the curb. You can no longer trust him, and clearly you can do better.

  • It's good that he's honest about it, I would've asked him if there was anything I could do to change his thought of this but if there isn't anything that you can do about him thinking like this then you should leave. It will help out both of you.

    • He said he doesn't want to lose me and he doesn't know why he feels like this... I'm so confused

    • aww, then you should get the flirt night on :) make him feel special.

    • Idk I'm just concerned ce he's still like baby I don't know what to do and all that he loves means he told me earlier he's been feeling way more depressed lately but sometimes I feel like he uses it as an excuse to hurt me everyone I know hates him formthenway he's treated me and ik I could be treated better but I love him...