Okay so this will be pretty long.. My ex girlfriend broke up with me 4 months ago (because she had doubts). She is a great and sweet girl even after the breakup. Whenever I was depressed she'd help me because she knows she will be the only one to be able to fix me.
at the beginning I was acting like nearly every guy, desperate, apologizing for every time I made her feel bad or guilty by breakingup with me.. you know the drill. that kept on going unill July, then she went to her dad in southern France for a month and then back to Belgium for a day then again off to Italy for 2weeks.
In July we had limited contact, sometimes contact with Skype video call, she missed me a lot when she was there. Trying to make contact and so was I.
Sometimes she said she loves me and wants to try again and I said it simple wasn't possible when she was so far away? Obviously...
So sometimes I was depressed and cried in front of the webcam, and so did she because she misses me holding her, kissing her and everything else.
Then she called me darling again and because I couldn't help myself I said it too. that went on for 2 days.
Then she said it was a mistake by calling each other that and I agreed, I also said to her: that's exactly what I said at the moment!
So then we (sometimes) said we love each other and miss each other again.
but it stayed with that now which was smarter.
then she came back for a day to belgium & went after a dress (for a family wedding) with her friend and she told me that she told her friend that I have such a nice body and I look so good
I know I can't complain with that, I work out a lot and I know I'm not the ugliest.
So then she went to Italy then she was busy alot, we contacted each other maybe 6 times those 2 weeks. She still said she missed me.
Then she came back and She went out with friends ( I totally understand because she missed everyone) She doesn't go out with me though because she just isn't ready (I totally understand that)
The day before yesterday I had the first desperate day in more than a month and I went to her house to see her, my head just told me: go, niels just go and see her.
So I did, which wasn't the smartest thing BUT I still know she is SO attracted to me, she let me in her house and I explained why I was there (because I had to see her)
Then I saw it in her face, she was looking at me and kissed me, she couldn't controll herself. If I would go now she wouldn't be able to controll herself again.
so I know she's attracted to me (ALOT) and she told me that she would always have feelings for me since we were together for a year and 6 months, and I asked her if we could try to get to know each other again (because I've changed into the man she always wanted, she said that herself)
she wasn't ready. I understood it again.
but when she goes out there's always guys wanting her. I'm going for no contact now after 4 months, she still loves me but I'm afraid to lose her to another guy..
"I'm afraid if I meet another guy and I like him, to see your reaction, I'm afraid that we won't speak ever again and that you'll hate me"
She said that maybe 2 hours ago
we were texting
Should I go for NO contact or limited contact (sometimes see how it's going)
When she goes out with guys I am SO afraid and worried she'll be falling for someone else, while I changed so much and became the guy she always wanted (I changed for myself not for her alone)
because this girl is the world to me
I want to move on, I've tried when she was to Italy for 2 weeks. But I simply couldn't, I went out with a girl one time but I couldn't help myself and I thought of my Ex girlfriend
this is the first time I feel such love and its true love. I changed so much already and I want her back more than anything in this world. Nothing is more important to me than her being in my arms.