Do you have a suggestion on how to get my boyfriend to move out of his parents house or should I just leave?

My boyfriend is 29 almost 30 and still lives at home with his parents. I've been trying to get him to move out for over half of a year and he won't budge because we don't make enough. Well we both earn 11/hr, he praises himself on being a mechanic (that does make good money) yet that was 2 years ago and now works where I do as a customer service rep... I'm more than positive he could make good money, and he gets job offers left and right for 18-20hr but he doesn't wanna be a mechanic anymore... well that's okay, I said find something else you would like to have a career in. I mean we'd save on gas, food expenses Because we do have a stable income even tho its not that much. I just want him to give it a shot, but he keeps telling me we got to save. Well I did save, in the thousands area, but nope... he wants to save. Any suggestions to get him out? I figure maybe I should just move out on my own and get a better job, I guess if there's no relying on him.

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  • How pricey is the rent where you're at? If its like SF/Bay Area, NYC or Seatlle?

    So let me get this straight he IS saving money right? You're issue is that you feel he's saved enough but he feels he hasn't.

    Honestly, when I was 29 I had to move in with my mom for 2 years. It was worth it, I was able to save up to buy a house when the market bottom'd out. Interesting enough, chick I was with at the time wasn't a fan of the move either.

    You wanna move out, you should do it. Trying to "compel" your guy to move out with you is a bad move. Regardless of his story, making someone do something they don't wanna do is just setting your self up for disappointment.

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What Guys Said 3

  • This guy clearly isn't motivated to improve his future. That's a HUGE red flag that you need to take very, very seriously. IMO, he's doing you a huge favor by not moving out with you, because chances are you'd end up getting stuck with the bills.

    I recommend you break up with him, and then figure out what YOU want to do. His goals and yours clearly aren't aligned, and that's a deal-breaker for a serious relationship (and if you live together, that's serious enough).

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  • how long have you been with him?

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  • You should tell him to do it or you're going to break up with him.

    If there's anything I know about guys is that they like four things.

    1. women who nag.

    2. Ultimatums

    3. Being told what to do.

    4. Women who try to get them to change.

    Perhaps you should try being supportive while he's figuring out what he wants to do with his life and deciding what career he should choose next?

    Nah. He's a man, and theyre scum. They only exist to be changed by women.

    F*** him.

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What Girls Said 3

  • You've been trying to get him to move out for over half of a year and he won't budge because you guys don't make enough? Saving money doesn't mean going out and buying a brand new house for you two guys to live in. So that he's not living with his parents anymore. He's not necessarily a big bum if he still lives with his parents-some people do that nowadays, some people even did that many years ago when they were going through financial struggles. Some people don't have jobs at all to even complain about. However, I kind of agree with you...I don't think it's healthy to rely COMPLETELY on another person, unless you absolutely have to...but it's best not to. This is a tricky situation-I'm not sure what else to say.

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  • He's 29,almost 30 and still lives at home.This isn't husband material. What happens when you want to start a family with him, what are you going to do live in his dads basement. This situation is not good for you.Your young,you can meet a bunch of guys who are motivated and will be great catches for you. Try pointing out that most guys his age have their own apartment and make better/ more money.tell him if he wants to move out than maybe he should take those job offers.tell him how you feel. Maybe he is making up excuses to not move out because it is easy to leave with his parents. They do the meals...

    Tell him if he wants to stay with you, you wold like to get an apartment together, get a better job... Set your boundaries and if he doesn't want that leave him. He is WAY TO OLD to be leaving with his parents.

    I wish you the best of luck.

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  • Saving in the thousands is good, but not enough yet. I can understand where he's coming from, but at this rate, you guys will never be able to live on your own. So yes, you need to start seeking employment that pays more, and hopefully he will follow suit.

    Kudos to you though for living within your means and saving in the first place, despite not having a lot coming in. Most people have a LOT of trouble doing this, and no matter how much you make - as long as you live within your means, you are head and shoulders smarter than anyone who doesn't do that. Rockstars make millions, but then overspend and go into debt. You're doing really well in that respect.

    To bolster your income, consider working multiple jobs, focusing on getting promoted at your current job, or branch out into online money-makers like writing e-books or being commissioned for isolated tasks. It's a hard economy, but even though it may not feel like it - you really are doing a great job managing finances!

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