How do I get him to talk?

So, I've been seeing this guy lately, in an unofficially dating sort of way. We still haven't even officially established that we have feelings for one another, although it's fairly obvious to everyone. Basically, If he doesn't know by now, or if he doesn't feel the same way, he's leading me on big time, or seriously daft...

If that was the only problem, I'd just tell him how I felt, and hopefully things would go from there, but there's more.

I've gotten to know this guy pretty well over the past year. I am even good friends with his ex girlfriend! (slightly awkward, but she's awesome!) The problem is, (and although I don't know for certain, but I believe this to be the reason they broke up) She is a very overpowering personality compared to this guy. He's pretty quiet, and a total pushover. I feel like he'd just let me walk all over him, and I don't want that! I don't want to be the leader in the relationship. I've seen him take responsibility and take the lead in many scenarios, so I need him to take a step up and "grow a pair" as it were... ha ha It's so obvious that I like him, but he just won't do anything about it!

Also, when we talk, he only wants to talk about me, and what I want to talk about, and when we hang out, he always wants to know what I want to do. It's like he doesn't have an opinion of his own!

I want him to know that I want to know more about him if any kind of relationship is going to work! I want to see how his mind works, and where he stands on different issues. I want to see him passionate about something! Not just politely going along with everything I want to do! Any guys out there that think you may be this way... STOP! grr!

So, any advice on how to deal with this?


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  • So... He didn't even try to kiss me until a month of "unofficial dating", when he was past wasted drunk. I realized I was going to have to push, if I really wanted him, at the same time, I would have to go slow, as to not scare him off. At about 2 months, he still hadn't made a move, so I got cold towards him. That week he realized something Was wrong. It forced him to think about if he cared. If he did want me in his life, he would need to take some action. If he didn't, he could now walk away. when he would text "hello?" I would not respond. At the end of the week he was stressed about it, so he showed up at my front door. I knew I ha him, I pushed a little forward "time to talk. I'm not going to waste my time chasing you. You either want to date me, or you dont" at 3 months we became exclusive (another round of what are we?) we've been together for a year and a half now. My advice : You will need to take the lead, just don't become a dictator.


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