After months of not talking then talking, being friends then not being friends, the two of us are finally at the point where we have an amazing friendship. We talk all the time (texting and the occasional Skype call) and we have so much fun just talking to each other. He even came to visit old friends a couple months ago and he spent most of his time with me. It was great!
He's always had a girlfriend or love interest in his life since he moved away, but I, on the other hand, have only had one boyfriend since he's moved, and I broke up with him because I wasn't over my ex. It's been three years since my ex moved away, and I've come to the pathetic conclusion that I don't think I'll ever get over him. I still love him a LOT.
This guy was perfect for me. IS perfect for me. The more our friendship grows and strengthens, the more I realize just how much I still love him. I've been spending time with other guys, but none of them compare to my ex. The only thing I see in them is how they're not my ex. It's terrible. It's not fair to these guys or to me, even.
Both my ex and I have grown and matured tremendously since breaking up. We've both become independent individuals with our own life goals, dreams, and passions. Even after all this time and maturing, I still love him. But I feel like now I'm just waiting for him to realize he still loves me too, which is extremely unhealthy, I know. I just don't know what to do. I feel like it doesn't take other people this long to move on and find love somewhere else. I'm still stuck here, hung up on the most perfect guy I've ever met and probably ever will meet.
I guess my question is this: is it moral or fair to date guys even though deep down I'm really not interested in them because I'm still in love with my ex? If I keep doing that, dating other guys while still loving my ex, will I eventually start moving on and genuinely become interested in these other guys? I just feel like that's so wrong, but I don't know what else I'm supposed to do.
My ex set the bar so high...I feel like no one else stands a chance with me. But I want other guys to have a chance with me. So what do I do? I don't want to hurt anyone. But I can't just sit here and wait for a future with my ex that will probably never happen (even though I really, really, really hope it does).
Also, my ex and I are really close friends now. Do I dare tell him any of this? Share with him this internal struggle I'm dealing with?