Will it help to stay friends or should I back off for a while? I miss him :/

I just wish I knew how long this was going to take me... I'm so heartbroken...

My boyfriend and I just broke up five days ago. We were together a little over a year. Our love started to fade, some days he was crazy about me but others not so much... so we realized it just wasn't right. But I still love him so much.

He still wants to "stay friends" and see me all the time. He has texted me a few times just checking in/to see how I am and I always respond but I don't make plans with him - I think he knows it would be too hard for me to see him right away.

How long should I wait to hang out? Would it make it easier or harder if I hung out with him?

I know he really wants to see me.. he misses me like crazy... I really want to see him too but I'm afraid it'll be too hard... I worry he'll want to get back together because he misses me but I know that would be a bad idea because we'd just end up breaking up again.

Do I cut off contact for a while? Do I hang out with him right away like he wants or wait until I'm not so sad?

It's my first breakup I don't know what to do :/


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What Guys Said 2

  • It's better to stay apart for a few weeks, at least, to decide if you made the right move. Also, it's important for others to know you're apart now, and spending a lot of time will confuse them..and maybe you as well.

    Give it some time, to see how both of you react, and for you to process the fact that you are FREE and can look around at the world now without restriction.

    You'll probably soon enjoy that feeling of freedom moe than you will miss him!

  • Most breakups are hard because it is extremely difficult to transition from interacting on regular basis with someone that you care for, to coming to terms with the sudden cease in communication with them as a result breaking up.

    Personally, I feel that limited communication with each other would help you both until you are comfortable hanging out with one another, without wanting to go back in. Perhaps that may be when you both are ready to date other people or when you your emotions will not be overwhelmed by his presence.

    You will know when you are ready because your emotions will be a non-issue when you think of him, or when he is near you.

    Good luck,


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