My ex boyfriend of 5 years wants to be friends, but why?

Two months ago my boyfriend of 5 years and I broke up because he was getting a little too friendly with our neighbor at the time and I wasn't comfortable with it. It became such a fight that I ended up leaving for a few days to get some distance from the situation that was hurting me and when I came home he had slept with her saying that he believed we had broken up. So I moved back home and had almost no contact with him for about a month.

Then he starts messaging me on Facebook just asking how I've been and whatnot. I told him I had been doing great even though it was a lie I had felt terrible for a few weeks after the breakup.

Then we didn't talk again for a little while and I found some new distractions and was actually getting through my days without thinking of him and his new girl.

About a week and a half ago he starts texting me saying he would like to see me and I agreed because I believed I was in a better head space to deal with seeing him and not become upset.

At this point we live two hours away from each other. So he makes the drive and ends up staying with me for two nights and things did become slightly intimate. We both agreed that there is chemistry between us that will always be there.

I feel like he led me to believe he was willing to try and make things up to me to make things right, he said many things that would make any girl believe he would like a romantic reconciliation.

But when he returned to his city he admitted he is still seeing the new girl. He said that they don't see each other often and he says it's because he knows that it hurts me when he is with her. He also claims they are no longer intimate.

Yesterday we had a long conversation where he said he knows he messed up and treated me wrongly, he said he was always happy in our relationship and he doesn't know why he slept with her but that it just happened. He then went on to say that he doesn't know if he ever wants to be in a romantic relationship with me again an he doesn't know if he wasn't to be in a romantic relationship with her either but that he's just working on himself for right now.

I can level with him wanting to be single but I don't feel like it's fair that he led me to believe he wanted to try and work things out. He even mentioned thinking about moving to the city I live in now(he has since changed his tune after our conversation).

Today we talked again and he said regardless of anything I love you and you're my best friend and I can't imagine you not being in my life. I feel the same way but I feel like if he pursues a relationship with this other girl I don't think I could handle being a part of his life at that point and it sucks because he really is very very special to me. I've never had a friend like him before.

I guess I'm just confused about what's going on in his head. Any ideas?
Any advice would be awesome!


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What Guys Said 1

  • Because he was good to you, and you were good to him when the relationship was still around. He's only wanting to be friends, nothing more, nothing less.


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